Romeo n juliet

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Romeo n' Juliet

Shakespeare homepizzy | Romeo n' Juliet | Entire play

ACT I



PROLOGUE



Two households, both alike up in dignity,

In fair Verona, where our slick asses lay our scene,

From ancient grudge break ta freshly smoked up mutiny,

Where civil blood make civil handz unclean.

From forth tha fatal loinz of these two foes

A pair of star-cross'd freaks take they game;

Whose misadventured piteous overthrows

Do wit they dirtnap bury they muthafathas' strife.

Da fearful passage of they dirtnap-mark'd love,

And tha continuizzle of they muthafathas' rage,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Which yo, but they childrenz end, nought could remove,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Is now tha two hours' traffic of our stage;

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Da which if you wit patient ears attend,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">What here shall miss, our toil shall strive ta mend.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">SCENE I. Verona fo' realz. A hood place.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Enter SAMPSON n' GREGORY, of tha doggy den of Capulet, armed wit swordz n' bucklers

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">SAMPSON

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Gregory, o' mah word, we'll not carry coals.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">GREGORY

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Fuck dat shit, fo' then we should be colliers.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">SAMPSON

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">I mean, a we be up in choler, we'll draw.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">GREGORY

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Ay, while you live, draw yo' neck up o' tha collar.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">SAMPSON

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">I strike quickly, bein moved.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">GREGORY

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">But thou art not quickly moved ta strike.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">SAMPSON

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">A dawg of tha doggy den of Montague moves mah dirty ass.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">GREGORY

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">To move is ta stir; n' ta be valiant is ta stand:

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">therefore, if thou art moved, thou runn'st away.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">SAMPSON

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">A dawg of dat doggy den shall move me ta stand: I will

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">take tha wall of any playa or maid of Montague's.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">GREGORY

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">That shows thee a weak slave; fo' tha weakest goes

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">to tha wall.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">SAMPSON

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">True; n' therefore dem hoes, bein tha weaker vessels,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">are eva thrust ta tha wall: therefore I'ma push

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Montaguez pimps from tha wall, n' thrust his crazy-ass maids

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">to tha wall.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">GREGORY

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Da quarrel is between our mastas n' our asses they men.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">SAMPSON

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">'Tis all one, I'ma show mah dirty ass a tyrant: when I

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">have fought wit tha men, I'ma be wack wit the

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">maids, n' cut off they heads.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">GREGORY

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Da headz of tha maids?

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">SAMPSON

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Ay, tha headz of tha maids, or they maidenheads;

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">take it up in what tha fuck sense thou wilt.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">GREGORY

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">They must take it up in sense dat feel dat shit.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">SAMPSON

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Me they shall feel while I be able ta stand: and

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">'tis known I be a pimpin' piece of flesh.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">GREGORY

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">'Tis well thou art not fish; if thou hadst, thou

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">hadst been skanky John. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Draw thy tool! here comes

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">two of tha doggy den of tha Montagues.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">SAMPSON

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">My fuckin naked weapon is out: quarrel, I'ma back thee.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">GREGORY

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">How! turn thy back n' run?

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">SAMPSON

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Fear me not.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">GREGORY

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Fuck dat shit, marry; I fear thee!

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">SAMPSON

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Let our asses take tha law of our sides; let dem begin.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">GREGORY

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">I'ma frown as I pass by, n' let dem take it as

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">they list.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">SAMPSON

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Nay, as they dare. I'ma bite mah thumb at them;

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">which be a gangbangin' finger-lickin' disgrace ta them, if they bear dat shit.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Enter ABRAHAM n' BALTHASAR

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">ABRAHAM

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Do you bite yo' thumb at us, sir?

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">SAMPSON

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">I do bite mah thumb, sir.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">ABRAHAM

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Do you bite yo' thumb at us, sir?

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">SAMPSON

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">[Aside ta GREGORY] Is tha law of our side, if I say

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">ay?

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">GREGORY

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">No.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">SAMPSON

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Fuck dat shit, sir, I do not bite mah thumb at you, sir yo, but I

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">bite mah thumb, sir.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">GREGORY

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Do you quarrel, sir?

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">ABRAHAM

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Quarrel sir playa! no, sir.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">SAMPSON

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">If you do, sir, I be fo' you: I serve as phat a playa as yo thugged-out ass.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">ABRAHAM

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">No better.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">SAMPSON

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Well, sir.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">GREGORY

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Say 'better:' here comes one of mah masterz kinsmen.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">SAMPSON

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Yes, better, sir.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">ABRAHAM

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Yo ass lie.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">SAMPSON

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Draw, if you be men. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Gregory, remember thy swashin blow.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">They fight

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Enter BENVOLIO

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">BENVOLIO

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Part, fools!

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Put up yo' swords; you know not what tha fuck you do.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Beats down they swords

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Enter TYBALT

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">TYBALT

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">What, art thou drawn among these heartless hinds?

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Turn thee, Benvolio, look upon thy dirtnap.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">BENVOLIO

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">I do but keep tha peace: put up thy sword,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Or manage it ta part these pimps wit mah dirty ass.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">TYBALT

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">What, drawn, n' rap of peace biaaatch! I don't give a fuck bout tha word,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">As I don't give a fuck bout hell, all Montagues, n' thee:

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Have at thee, coward!

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">They fight

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Enter, nuff muthafuckin of both houses, whoz ass join tha fray; then enter Citizens, wit clubs

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">First Citizen

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Clubs, bills, n' partisans muthafucka! strike biaaatch! beat dem down!

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Down wit tha Capulets muthafucka! down wit tha Montagues!

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Enter CAPULET up in his wild lil' freakadelic gown, n' LADY CAPULET

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">CAPULET

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">What noise is this, biatch? Give me mah long sword, ho!

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">LADY CAPULET

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">A crutch, a cold-ass lil crutch! why call you fo' a sword?

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">CAPULET

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">My fuckin sword, I say dawwwwg! Oldskool Montague is come,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">And flourishes his blade up in spite of mah dirty ass.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Enter MONTAGUE n' LADY MONTAGUE

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">MONTAGUE

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Thou villain Capulet,--Hold mah crazy ass not, let me go.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">LADY MONTAGUE

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Thou shalt not stir a gangbangin' foot ta seek a gangbangin' foe.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Enter PRINCE, wit Attendants

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">PRINCE

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Rebellious subjects, enemies ta peace,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Profanerz of dis neighbour-stained steel,--

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Will they not hear, biatch? What, ho! you men, you beasts,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">That quench tha fire of yo' pernicious rage

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">With purple fountains issuin from yo' veins,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">On pain of torture, from dem bloody hands

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Throw yo' mistemper'd weapons ta tha ground,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">And hear tha sentence of yo' moved prince.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Three civil brawls, bred of a airy word,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">By thee, oldschool Capulet, n' Montague,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Have thrice disturb'd tha on tha down-low of our streets,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">And made Veronaz ancient playa haters

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Cast by they grave beseemin ornaments,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">To wield oldschool partisans, up in handz as old,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Canker'd wit peace, ta part yo' canker'd hate:

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">If eva you disturb our streets again,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Yo crazy-ass lives shall pay tha forfeit of tha peace.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">For dis time, all tha rest depart away:

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Yo ass Capulet; shall go along wit me:

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">And, Montague, come you dis afternoon,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">To know our further pleasure up in dis case,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">To oldschool Free-town, our common judgment-place.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Once more, on pain of dirtnap, all pimps depart.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Exeunt all but MONTAGUE, LADY MONTAGUE, n' BENVOLIO

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">MONTAGUE

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Dum diddy-dum, here I come biaaatch! Who tha fuck set dis ancient quarrel freshly smoked up abroach?

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Speak, nephew, was you by when it fuckin started?

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">BENVOLIO

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Here was tha servantz of yo' adversary,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">And yours, close fightin ere I did approach:

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">I drew ta part them: up in tha instant came

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Da fiery Tybalt, wit his sword prepared,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Which, as his thugged-out lil' punk-ass breathed defiizzle ta mah ears,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Dude swung bout his head n' cut tha winds,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Dum diddy-dum, here I come biaaatch! Who tha fuck not a god damn thang hurt withal hiss'd his ass up in scorn:

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">While we was interchangin thrusts n' blows,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Came mo' n' mo' n' fought on part n' part,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Till tha pimp came, whoz ass parted either part.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">LADY MONTAGUE

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">O, where is Romeo, biatch? saw you his ass to-day?

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Right glad I be da thug was not at dis fray.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">BENVOLIO

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Madam, a minute before tha worshipp'd sun

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Peer'd forth tha golden window of tha eastside,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">A shitd mind drave me ta strutt abroad;

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Where, underneath tha grove of sycamore

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">That westsideward rooteth from tha hoodz side,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">So early struttin did I peep yo' son:

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Towardz his ass I made yo, but da thug was ware of me

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">And stole tha fuck into tha covert of tha wood:

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">I, measurin his thugged-out affections by mah own,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">That most is busied when they most alone,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Pursued mah humour not pursuin his,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">And gladly shunn'd whoz ass gladly fled from mah dirty ass.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">MONTAGUE

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Many a mornin hath tha pimpin' muthafucka there been seen,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">With tears augmentin tha fresh mornin dew.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Addin ta cloudz mo' cloudz wit his fuckin lil' deep sighs;

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">But all so soon as tha all-cheerin sun

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Should up in tha furthest eastside begin ta draw

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Da shady curtains from Auroraz bed,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Away from tha light steals home mah heavy son,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">And private up in his chamber pens his dirty ass,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Shuts up his windows, locks far daylight out

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">And make his dirty ass a artificial night:

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Black n' portentous must dis humour prove,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Unless phat counsel may tha cause remove.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">BENVOLIO

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">My fuckin noble uncle, do you know tha cause?

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">MONTAGUE

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">I neither know it nor can learn of his muthafuckin ass.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">BENVOLIO

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Has you done importuned his ass by any means?

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">MONTAGUE

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Both by mah dirty ass n' nuff other playas:

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">But he, his own affections' counsellor,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Is ta his dirty ass--I'ma not say how tha fuck true--

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">But ta his dirty ass so secret n' so close,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">So far from soundin n' discovery,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">As is tha bud bit wit a envious worm,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Ere his schmoooove ass can spread his fuckin lil' dope leaves ta tha air,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Or dedicate his beauty ta tha sun.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Could we but learn from whence his sorrows grow.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Us thugs would as willingly give cure as know.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Enter ROMEO

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">BENVOLIO

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">See, where his schmoooove ass comes: so please you, step aside;

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">I be bout ta know his wild lil' freakadelic grievance, or be much denied.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">MONTAGUE

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">I would thou wert so aiiight by thy stay,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">To hear legit shrift. Come, madam, letz away.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Exeunt MONTAGUE n' LADY MONTAGUE

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">BENVOLIO

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Good-morrow, cousin.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">ROMEO

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Is tha dizzle so young?

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">BENVOLIO

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">But freshly smoked up struck nine.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">ROMEO

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Ay me biaaatch! fucked up minutes seem long.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Was dat mah daddy dat went hence so fast?

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">BENVOLIO

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">It was. What sadnizz lengthens Romeoz hours?

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">ROMEO

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Not havin that, which, having, make dem short.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">BENVOLIO

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">In love?

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">ROMEO

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Out--

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">BENVOLIO

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Of love?

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">ROMEO

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Out of her favour, where I be up in love.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">BENVOLIO

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Alas, dat love, so gentle up in his view,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Should be all kindsa tyrannous n' rough up in proof!

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">ROMEO

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Alas, dat love, whose view is muffled still,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Should, without eyes, peep pathways ta his will!

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Where shall our phat asses dine, biatch? O me biaaatch! What fray was here?

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Yet tell me not, fo' I have heard it all.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Herez much ta do wit don't give a fuck bout yo, but mo' wit love.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Why, then, O brawlin ludd biaaatch! O gangbangin hate!

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">O any thang, of not a god damn thang first create!

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">O heavy lightness muthafucka! straight-up vanity!

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Mis-shapen chaoz of well-seemin forms!

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Feather of lead, bright smoke, cold fire,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">sick health!

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Still-wakin chill, dat aint what tha fuck it is!

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">This ludd feel I, dat feel no ludd up in all dis bullshit.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Dost thou not laugh?

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">BENVOLIO

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Fuck dat shit, coz, I rather weep.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">ROMEO

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Dope ass, at what?

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">BENVOLIO

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">At thy phat heartz oppression.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">ROMEO

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Why, such is lovez transgression.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Griefz of mine own lie heavy up in mah breast,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Which thou wilt propagate, ta have it prest

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">With mo' of thine: dis ludd dat thou hast shown

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Doth add mo' grief ta too much of mine own.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Ludd be a smoke raised wit tha fume of sighs;

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Bein purged, a gangbangin' fire sparklin up in freaks' eyes;

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Bein vex'd a sea nourish'd wit freaks' tears:

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">What tha fuck iz it else, biatch? a madnizz most discreet,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">A chokin gall n' a preservin dope.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Farewell, mah coz.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">BENVOLIO

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Soft son! I'ma go along;

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">An if you leave me so, you do me wrong.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">ROMEO

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Tut, I have lost mah dirty ass; I aint here;

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">This aint Romeo, da perved-out muthafucka some other where.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">BENVOLIO

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Tell me up in sadness, whoz ass is dat you love.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">ROMEO

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">What, shall I groan n' tell thee?

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">BENVOLIO

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Groan! why, no.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">But sadly tell me who.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">ROMEO

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Bid a sick playa up in sadnizz make his will:

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Ah, word ill urged ta one dat is so ill!

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">In sadness, cousin, I do ludd a biatch.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">BENVOLIO

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">I aim'd so near, when I supposed you loved.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">ROMEO

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">A right phat mark-man! And she fair I love.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">BENVOLIO

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">A right fair mark, fair coz, is soonest hit.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">ROMEO

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Well, up in dat hit you miss: she'll not be hit

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">With Cupidz arrow; dat freaky freaky biatch hath Dianz wit;

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">And, up in phat proof of chastitizzle well arm'd,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">From lovez weak childish bow she lives unharm'd.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Bitch aint gonna stay tha siege of gangbangin terms,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Nor bide tha encounter of assailin eyes,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Nor ope her lap ta saint-seducin gold:

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">O, her ass is rich up in beauty, only skanky,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">That when she takes a thugged-out dirt nap wit beauty takes a thugged-out dirt nap her store.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">BENVOLIO

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Then dat freaky freaky biatch hath sworn dat dat biiiiatch will still live chaste?

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">ROMEO

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Bitch hath, n' up in dat sparin make big-ass waste,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">For beauty starved wit her severity

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Cuts beauty off from all posterity.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Bitch is too fair, too wise, wisely too fair,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">To merit bliss by makin me despair:

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Bitch hath forsworn ta love, n' up in dat vow

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Do I live dead dat live ta tell it now, nahmeean?

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">BENVOLIO

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Be ruled by me, forget ta be thinkin of her muthafuckin ass.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">ROMEO

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">O, teach me how tha fuck I should forget ta think.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">BENVOLIO

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">By givin liberty unto thine eyes;

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Examine other beauties.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">ROMEO

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">'Tis tha way

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">To call hers exquisite, up in question more:

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">These aiiight masks dat lick fair ladies' brows

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Bein black put our asses up in mind they hide tha fair;

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Dude dat is strucken blind cannot forget

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Da precious treasure of his wild lil' fuckin eyesight lost:

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Show me a mistress dat is passin fair,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">What doth her beauty serve yo, but as a note

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Where I may read whoz ass pass'd dat passin fair?

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Farewell: thou canst not teach me ta forget.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">BENVOLIO

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">I be bout ta pay dat doctrine, or else take a thugged-out dirtnap up in debt.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Exeunt

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Madam, I be here.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">What tha fuck iz yo' will?

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">LADY CAPULET

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">This is tha matter:--Nurse, give leave awhile,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">We must rap up in secret:--nurse, come back again;

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">I have remember'd me, thouz hear our counsel.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Thou know'st mah daughterz of a pimpin' age.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Nurse

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Faith, I can tell her age unto a hour.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">LADY CAPULET

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Dat hoe not fourteen.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Nurse

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">I be bout ta lay fourteen of mah teeth,--

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">And yet, ta mah teeth be it spoken, I have but four--

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Bitch aint fourteen. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch yo. How tha fuck long is it now

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">To Lammas-tide?

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">LADY CAPULET

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">A fortnight n' odd days.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Nurse

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Even or odd, of all minutes up in tha year,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Come Lammas-eve at night shall da hoe be fourteen.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Susan n' she--Dogg rest all Christian souls!--

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Were of a age: well, Susan is wit God;

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Bitch was too phat fo' me: but, as I holla'd,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">On Lammas-eve at night shall da hoe be fourteen;

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">That shall she, marry; I remember it well.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">'Tis since tha earthquake now eleven years;

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">And dat biiiiatch was wean'd,--I never shall forget it,--

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Of all tha minutez of tha year, upon dat day:

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">For I had then laid wormwood ta mah dug,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Sittin up in tha sun under tha dove-house wall;

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">My fuckin lord n' you was then at Mantua:--

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Nay, I do bear a funky-ass dome:--but, as I holla'd,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">When it did taste tha wormwood on tha nipple

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Of mah dug n' felt it bitter, pretty fool,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">To peep it tetchy n' fall up wit tha dug!

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Shake quoth tha dove-house: 'twas no need, I trow,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">To bid mah crazy ass trudge:

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">And since dat time it is eleven years;

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">For then dat thugged-out biiiatch could stand alone; nay, by tha rood,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Bitch could have run n' waddled all about;

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">For even tha dizzle before, da hoe broke her brow:

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">And then mah homeboy--Dogg be wit his soul!

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">A' was a merry man--took up tha child:

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">'Yea,' quoth he, 'dost thou fall upon thy face?

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Thou wilt fall backward when thou hast mo' wit;

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Wilt thou not, Jule?' and, by mah holidame,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Da pretty wretch left bustin up like a biatch n' holla'd 'Ay.'

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">To see, now, how tha fuck a jest shall come about!

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">I warrant, a I should live a thousand years,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">I never should forget it: 'Wilt thou not, Jule?' quoth he;

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">And, pretty fool, it stinted n' holla'd 'Ay.'

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">LADY CAPULET

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Enough of this; I pray thee, hold thy peace.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Nurse

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Yes, madam: yet I cannot chizzle but laugh,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">To be thinkin it should leave bustin up like a biatch n' say 'Ay.'

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">And yet, I warrant, it had upon its brow

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">A bump as big-ass as a lil' cockerelz stone;

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">A parlous knock; n' it cried bitterly:

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">'Yea,' quoth mah homeboy,'fall'st upon thy face?

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Thou wilt fall backward when thou comest ta age;

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Wilt thou not, Jule?' it stinted n' holla'd 'Ay.'

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">JULIET

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">And stint thou too, I pray thee, nurse, say I.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Nurse

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Peace, I have done. Dogg mark thee ta his wild lil' freakadelic grace!

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Thou wast tha prettiest muthafucka dat e'er I nursed:

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">An I might live ta peep thee hooked up once,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">I have mah wish.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">LADY CAPULET

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Marry, dat 'marry' is tha straight-up theme

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">I came ta rap of. Tell me, daughter Juliet,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">How tha fuck standz yo' disposizzle ta be married?

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">JULIET

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">It be a honour dat I trip not of.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Nurse

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">An honour playa! was not I thine only nurse,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">I would say thou hadst suck'd wisdom from thy teat.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">LADY CAPULET

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Well, be thinkin of marriage now; younger than you,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Here up in Verona, ladiez of esteem,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Is made already mothers: by mah count,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">I was yo' mutha much upon these years

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">That yo ass is now a maid. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Thus then up in brief:

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Da valiant Paris seeks you fo' his fuckin love.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Nurse

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">A dude, lil' lady dawwwwg! lady, such a man

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">As all tha ghetto--why, he a playa of wax.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">LADY CAPULET

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Veronaz summer hath not such a gangbangin' flower.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Nurse

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Nay, he a gangbangin' flower; up in faith, a straight-up flower.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">LADY CAPULET

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">What say yo slick ass, biatch? can you ludd tha gentleman?

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">This night you shall behold his ass at our feast;

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Read o'er tha volume of lil' Paris' face,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">And find delight writ there wit beautyz pen;

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Examine every last muthafuckin hooked up lineament,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">And peep how tha fuck one another lendz content

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">And what tha fuck obscured up in dis fair volume lies

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Find freestyled up in tha margent of his wild lil' fuckin eyes.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">This precious book of love, dis unbound freak,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">To beautify him, only lacks a cold-ass lil cover:

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Da fish lives up in tha sea, n' 'tis much pride

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">For fair without tha fair within ta hide:

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">That book up in manyz eyes doth share tha glory,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">That up in gold clasps locks up in tha golden story;

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">So shall you share all dat da ruffneck doth possess,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">By havin him, makin yo ass no less.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Nurse

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">No less muthafucka! nay, bigger; dem hoes grow by men.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">LADY CAPULET

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Speak briefly, can you like of Paris' love?

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">JULIET

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">I be bout ta look ta like, if lookin likin move:

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">But no mo' deep will I endart mine eye

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Than yo' consent gives strength ta make it fly.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Enter a Servant

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Servant

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Madam, tha guests is come, supper served up, you

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">called, mah lil' lady axed for, tha nurse cursed in

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">the pantry, n' every last muthafuckin thang up in extremity. I must

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">hence ta wait; I beseech you, follow straight.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">LADY CAPULET

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">We follow thee.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Exit Servant

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Juliet, tha county stays.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Nurse

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Go, girl, seek aiiight nights ta aiiight days.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Exeunt

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">SCENE IV fo' realz. A street.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Enter ROMEO, MERCUTIO, BENVOLIO, wit five or six Maskers, Torch-bearers, n' others

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">ROMEO

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">What, shall dis rap be was rappin fo' our excuse?

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Or shall we on without a apology?

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">BENVOLIO

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Da date is outta such prolixity:

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">We bout ta have no Cupid hoodwink'd wit a scarf,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Bearin a Tartarz painted bow of lath,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Scarin tha ladies like a cold-ass lil crow-keeper;

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Nor no without-book prologue, faintly spoke

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">After tha prompter, fo' our entrance:

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">But let dem measure our asses by what tha fuck they will;

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">We bout ta measure dem a measure, n' be gone.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">ROMEO

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Give me a torch: I aint fo' dis ambling;

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Bein but heavy, I'ma bear tha light.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">MERCUTIO

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Nay, gentle Romeo, we must have you dance.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">ROMEO

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Not I, believe me: you have ridin' dirty shoes

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">With nimble soles: I gots a ass of lead

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">So stakes me ta tha ground I cannot move.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">MERCUTIO

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Yo ass be a gangbangin' freak; borrow Cupidz wings,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">And soar wit dem above a cold-ass lil common bound.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">ROMEO

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">I be too sore enpierced wit his shaft

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">To soar wit his fuckin light feathers, n' so bound,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">I cannot bound a pitch above dull woe:

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Under lovez heavy burden do I sink.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">MERCUTIO

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">And, ta sink up in it, should you burden love;

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Too pimped out oppression fo' a tender thang.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">ROMEO

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Is ludd a tender thang, biatch? it is too rough,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Too rude, too boisterous, n' it pricks like thorn.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">MERCUTIO

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">If ludd be rough wit you, be rough wit love;

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Prick ludd fo' pricking, n' you beat ludd down.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Give me a cold-ass lil case ta put mah visage in:

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">A visor fo' a visor playa! what tha fuck care I

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">What curious eye doth quote deformities?

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Here is tha beetle brows shall blush fo' mah dirty ass.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">BENVOLIO

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Come, knock n' enter; n' no sooner in,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">But every last muthafuckin playa betake his ass ta his fuckin legs.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">ROMEO

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">A torch fo' me: let wantons light of heart

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Tickle tha senseless rushes wit they heels,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">For I be proverb'd wit a grandsire phrase;

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">I be bout ta be a cold-ass lil candle-holder, n' look on.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Da game was ne'er so fair, n' I be done.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">MERCUTIO

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Tut, dunz tha mouse, tha constablez own word:

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">If thou art dun, we'll draw thee from tha mire

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Of dis sir-reverence love, wherein thou stick'st

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Up ta tha ears. Come, we burn daylight, ho!

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">ROMEO

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Nay, thatz not so.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">MERCUTIO

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">I mean, sir, up in delay

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Us thugs waste our lights up in vain, like lamps by day.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Take our phat meaning, fo' our judgment sits

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Five times up in dat ere once up in our five wits.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">ROMEO

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">And we mean well up in goin ta dis mask;

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">But 'tis no wit ta bounce tha fuck out.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">MERCUTIO

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Why, may one ask?

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">ROMEO

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">I dream'd a thugged-out trip to-night.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">MERCUTIO

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">And so did I.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">ROMEO

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Well, what tha fuck was yours?

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">MERCUTIO

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">That dreamers often lie.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">ROMEO

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">In bed asleep, while they do trip thangs true.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">MERCUTIO

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">O, then, I peep Biatch Mab hath been up in yo' faaaaaace!

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Bitch is tha fairies' midwife, n' dat thugged-out biiiatch comes

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">In shape no bigger than a agate-stone

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">On tha fore-finger of a alderman,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Drawn wit a crew of lil atomies

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Athwart menz noses as they lie asleep;

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Her wagon-spokes made of long spiders' legs,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Da cover of tha wingz of grasshoppers,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Da tracez of tha smallest spiderz web,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Da collarz of tha moonshinez watery beams,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Her whip of cricketz bone, tha lash of film,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Her wagoner a lil' small-ass grey-coated gnat,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Not so big-ass as a round lil worm

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Prick'd from tha lazy finger of a maid;

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Her chariot be a empty hazel-nut

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Made by tha joiner squirrel or oldschool grub,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Time up o' mind tha fairies' pimpmakers.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">And up in dis state she gallops night by night

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Through freaks' domes, n' then they trip of love;

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">O'er courtiers' knees, dat trip on court'sies straight,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">O'er lawyers' fingers, whoz ass straight trip on fees,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">O'er ladies ' lips, whoz ass straight on kisses dream,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Which oft tha mad salty Mab wit blistas plagues,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Because they breaths wit dopemeats tainted are:

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Sometime she gallops o'er a cold-ass lil courtierz nose,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">And then trips he of smellin up a suit;

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">And sometime comes dat biiiiatch wit a tithe-pigz tail

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Ticklin a parsonz nozzle as a' lies asleep,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Then dreams, he of another benefice:

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Sometime her dope ass driveth o'er a soldierz neck,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">And then trips he of cuttin foreign throats,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Of breaches, ambuscadoes, Spanish blades,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Of healths five-fathom deep; n' then anon

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Drums up in his wild lil' fuckin ear, at which da perved-out muthafucka starts n' wakes,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">And bein thus frighted swears a prayer or two

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">And chills again. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. This is dat straight-up Mab

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">That plats tha manez of horses up in tha night,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">And bakes tha elflocks up in foul supa-hotish hairs,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Which once untangled, much misfortune bodes:

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">This is tha hag, when maidz lie on they backs,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">That presses dem n' learns dem first ta bear,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Makin dem dem hoez of phat carriage:

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">This is she--

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">ROMEO

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Peace, peace, Mercutio, peace!

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Thou talk'st of nothing.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">MERCUTIO

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">True, I rap of dreams,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Which is tha lil pimpz of a idle dome,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Begot of not a god damn thang but vain fantasy,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Which be as thin of substizzle as tha air

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">And mo' inconstant than tha wind, whoz ass wooes

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Even now tha frozen bosom of tha north,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">And, bein anger'd, puffs away from thence,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Turnin his wild lil' grill ta tha dew-droppin south.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">BENVOLIO

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">This wind, you rap of, blows our asses from ourselves;

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Supper is done, n' we shall come too late.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">ROMEO

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">I fear, too early: fo' mah mind misgives

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Some consequence yet hangin up in tha stars

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Shall bitterly begin his wild lil' fearful date

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">With dis nightz revels n' expire tha term

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Of a thugged-out despised game closed up in mah breast

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">By some vile forfeit of untimely dirtnap.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">But He, dat hath tha steerage of mah course,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Direct mah sail! On, lusty gentlemen.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">BENVOLIO

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Strike, drum.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Exeunt

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">SCENE V fo' realz. A hall up in Capuletz house.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Musicians waiting. Enter Servingmen wit napkins

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">First Servant

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Wherez Potpan, dat dat schmoooove muthafucka helps not ta take away, biatch? He

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">shift a trencher, biatch? da perved-out muthafucka scrape a trencher!

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Second Servant

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">When phat manners shall lie all up in one or two men's

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">handz n' they unwashed too, 'tis a gangbangin' foul thang.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">First Servant

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Away wit tha joint-stools, remove the

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">court-cupboard, look ta tha plate. Dope thou, save

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">me a piece of marchpane; and, as thou lovest me, let

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">the porter let up in Susan Grindstone n' Nell.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Antony, n' Potpan!

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Second Servant

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Ay, boy, ready.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">First Servant

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Yo ass is looked fo' n' called for, axed fo' and

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">sought for, up in tha pimped out chamber.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Second Servant

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">We cannot be here n' there like a muthafucka. Cheerly, thugs; be

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">brisk awhile, n' tha longer liver take all.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Enter CAPULET, wit JULIET n' otherz of his house, meetin tha Guests n' Maskers

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">CAPULET

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Welcome, gentlemen! ladies dat have they toes

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Unplagued wit corns gonna git a funky-ass bout up in yo' faaaaaace!

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Ah ha, mah mistresses muthafucka! which of y'all all

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Will now deny ta dance, biatch? dat dunkadelic hoe dat make dainty,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">She, I be bout ta swear, hath corns; is I come near ye now?

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Welcome, gentlemen! I have peeped tha day

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">That I have worn a visor n' could tell

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">A whisperin tale up in a gangbangin' fair ladyz ear,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Such as would please: 'tis gone, 'tis gone, 'tis gone:

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Yo ass is welcome, gentlemen! come, musical muthafuckas, play.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">A hall, a hall! give room! n' foot it, hoes.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Music plays, n' they dance

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Mo' light, you knaves; n' turn tha tablez up,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">And quench tha fire, tha room is grown too hot.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Ah, sirrah, dis unlook'd-for shiznit comes well.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Nay, sit, nay, sit, phat cousin Capulet;

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">For you n' I is past our ridin' dirty days:

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">How tha fuck long is't now since last yo ass n' I

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Were up in a mask?

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Second Capulet

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">By'r lady, thirty years.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">CAPULET

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">What, man! 'tis not so much, 'tis not so much:

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">'Tis since tha nuptialz of Lucentio,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Come pentecost as quickly as it will,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Some five n' twenty years; n' then we mask'd.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Second Capulet

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">'Tis more, 'tis more, his fuckin lil hustla is elder, sir;

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">His lil hustla is thirty.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">CAPULET

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Will you tell me that?

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">His lil hustla was but a ward two muthafuckin years ago.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">ROMEO

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">[To a Servingman] What lady is that, which doth

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">enrich tha hand

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Of yonder knight?

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Servant

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">I know not, sir.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">ROMEO

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">O, her dope ass doth teach tha torches ta burn bright!

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">It seems dat freaky freaky biatch hangs upon tha cheek of night

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Like a rich jewel up in a Ethiopez ear;

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Beauty too rich fo' use, fo' earth too dear!

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">So shows a snowy dove troopin wit crows,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">As yonder lady o'er her fellows shows.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Da measure done, I be bout ta peep her place of stand,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">And, touchin hers, make pimped mah rude hand.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Did mah ass ludd till now, biatch? forswear it, sight!

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">For I ne'er saw legit beauty till dis night.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">TYBALT

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">This, by his voice, should be a Montague.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Fetch me mah rapier, boy. What dares tha slave

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Come hither, cover'd wit a antic face,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">To fleer n' scorn at our solemnity?

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Now, by tha stock n' honour of mah kin,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">To strike his ass dead, I hold it not a sin.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">CAPULET

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Why, how tha fuck now, kinsman! wherefore storm you so?

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">TYBALT

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Uncle, dis be a Montague, our foe,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">A villain dat is hither come up in spite,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">To scorn at our solemnitizzle dis night.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">CAPULET

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Young Romeo is it?

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">TYBALT

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">'Tis he, dat villain Romeo.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">CAPULET

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Content thee, gentle coz, let his ass alone;

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Dude bears his ass like a portly gentleman;

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">And, ta say truth, Verona bragz of him

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">To be a virtuous n' well-govern'd youth:

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">I would not fo' tha wealth of all tha town

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Here up in mah doggy den do his ass disparagement:

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Therefore be patient, take no note of him:

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">It be mah will, tha which if thou respect,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Show a gangbangin' fair presence n' put off these frowns,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">And ill-beseemin semblizzle fo' a gangbangin' feast.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">TYBALT

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">It fits, when such a villain be a guest:

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">I be bout ta not endure his muthafuckin ass.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">CAPULET

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Dude shall be endured:

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">What, goodman pimp dawwwwg! I say, da perved-out muthafucka shall: go to;

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Am I tha masta here, or yo slick ass, biatch? go to.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">You'll not endure him! Dogg shall mend mah soul!

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">You'll cook up a mutiny among mah guests!

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Yo ass will set cock-a-hoop! you gonna be tha man!

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">TYBALT

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Why, uncle, 'tis a muthafucka.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">CAPULET

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Go to, go to;

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Yo ass be a saucy boy: is't so, indeed?

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">This trick may chizzle ta scathe you, I know what:

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Yo ass must contrary me biaaatch! marry, 'tis time.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Well holla'd, mah hearts muthafucka! Yo ass be a princox; go:

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Be on tha fuckin' down-low, or--Mo' light, mo' light son! For shame!

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">I be bout ta make you on tha fuckin' down-low. What, cheerly, mah hearts!

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">TYBALT

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Patience perforce wit wilful chola meeting

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Makes mah flesh tremble up in they different greeting.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">I'ma withdraw: but dis intrusion shall

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Now seemin dope convert ta bitter gall.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Exit

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">ROMEO

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">[To JULIET] If I profane wit mah unworthiest hand

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">This holy shrine, tha gentle fine is this:

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">My fuckin lips, two blushin pilgrims, locked n loaded stand

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">To smooth dat rough bust a nut on wit a tender kiss.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">JULIET

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Dope pilgrim, you do wack yo' hand too much,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Which mannerly devotion shows up in this;

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">For saints have handz dat pilgrims' handz do touch,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">And palm ta palm is holy palmers' kiss.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">ROMEO

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Have not saints lips, n' holy palmers too?

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">JULIET

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Ay, pilgrim, lips dat they must use up in prayer.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">ROMEO

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">O, then, dear saint, let lips do what tha fuck handz do;

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">They pray, grant thou, lest faith turn ta despair.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">JULIET

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Saints do not move, though grant fo' lyrics' sake.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">ROMEO

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Then move not, while mah prayerz effect I take.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Thus from mah lips, by yours, mah sin is purged.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">JULIET

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Then have mah lips tha sin dat they have took.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">ROMEO

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Sin from thy lips, biatch? O trespass dopely urged!

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Give me mah sin again.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">JULIET

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Yo ass lick by tha book.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Nurse

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Madam, yo' mutha craves a word up in yo' faaaaaace!

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">ROMEO

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">What tha fuck iz her mother?

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Nurse

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Marry, bachelor,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Her mutha is tha lady of tha house,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">And a phat lady, n' a wise n' virtuous

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">I nursed her daughter, dat you talk'd withal;

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">I rap, tha pimpin' muthafucka dat can lay hold of her

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Shall have tha chinks.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">ROMEO

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Is she a Capulet?

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">O dear account son! mah game is mah foez debt.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">BENVOLIO

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Away, begone; tha shiznit be at da bomb.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">ROMEO

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Ay, so I fear; tha mo' is mah unrest.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">CAPULET

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Nay, gentlemen, prepare not ta be gone;

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Our thugged-out asses gotz a triflin foolish banquet towards.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Is it e'en so, biatch? why, then, I fuck you all

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">I fuck you, real gentlemen; phat night.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Mo' torches here biaaatch! Come on then, letz ta bed.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Ah, sirrah, by mah fay, it waxes late:

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">I be bout ta ta mah rest.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Exeunt all but JULIET n' Nurse

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">JULIET

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Come hither, nurse. What tha fuck iz yond gentleman?

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Nurse

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Da lil hustla n' heir of oldschool Tiberio.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">JULIET

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Whatz tha pimpin' muthafucka dat now is goin outta door?

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Nurse

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Marry, that, I think, be lil' Petrucio.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">JULIET

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Whatz tha pimpin' muthafucka dat bigs up there, dat would not dance?

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Nurse

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">I know not.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">JULIET

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Go ask his name: if his thugged-out lil' punk-ass be married.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">My fuckin grave is like ta be mah weddin bed.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Nurse

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">His name is Romeo, n' a Montague;

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Da only lil hustla of yo' pimped out enemy.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">JULIET

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">My fuckin only ludd sprung from mah only hate!

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Too early peeped unknown, n' known too late!

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Prodigious birth of ludd it is ta me,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">That I must ludd a loathed enemy.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Nurse

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Whatz this, biatch? whatz this?

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">JULIET

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">A rhyme I learn'd even now

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Of one I danced withal.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">One calls within 'Juliet.'

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Nurse

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Anon, anon!

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Come, letz away; tha strangers all is gone.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Exeunt

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">ACT Pt II

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">PROLOGUE

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Enter Chorus

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Chorus

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Now oldschool desire doth up in his fuckin lil' dirtnap-bed lie,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">And lil' affection gapes ta be his heir;

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">That fair fo' which ludd groan'd fo' n' would die,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">With tender Juliet match'd, is now not fair.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Now Romeo is beloved n' loves again,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Alike betwitched by tha charm of looks,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">But ta his wild lil' foe supposed he must complain,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">And she loot lovez dope bait from fearful hooks:

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Bein held a gangbangin' foe, he may not have access

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">To breathe such vows as freaks use ta swear;

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">And she as much up in love, her means much less

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">To hook up her new-beloved any where:

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">But boner lendz dem power, time means, ta meet

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Temperin extremitizzles wit off tha hook dope.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Exit

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">SCENE I fo' realz. A lane by tha wall of Capuletz orchard.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Enter ROMEO

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">ROMEO

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Can I go forward when mah ass is here?

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Turn back, dull earth, n' find thy centre out.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Dude climbs tha wall, n' leaps down within it

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Enter BENVOLIO n' MERCUTIO

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">BENVOLIO

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Romeo! mah cousin Romeo!

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">MERCUTIO

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Dude is wise;

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">And, on mah lie, hath stol'n his ass home ta bed.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">BENVOLIO

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Dude ran dis way, n' leap'd dis orchard wall:

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Call, phat Mercutio.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">MERCUTIO

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Nay, I be bout ta conjure like a muthafucka.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Romeo! humours muthafucka! madman! passion! freak!

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Appear thou up in tha likenizz of a sigh:

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Speak but one rhyme, n' I be satisfied;

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Cry but 'Ay me!' pronounce but 'love' n' 'dove;'

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Speak ta mah ghetto hype Venus one fair word,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">One nick-name fo' her purblind lil hustla n' heir,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Young Adam Cupid, tha pimpin' muthafucka dat blasted so trim,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">When Mackdaddy Cophetua loved tha beggar-maid!

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Dude heareth not, da perved-out muthafucka stirreth not, he moveth not;

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Da ape is dead, n' I must conjure his muthafuckin ass.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">I conjure thee by Rosalinez bright eyes,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">By her high forehead n' her scarlet lip,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">By her fine foot, straight leg n' quiverin thigh

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">And tha demesnes dat there adjacent lie,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">That up in thy likenizz thou step tha fuck up ta us!

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">BENVOLIO

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">And if dat schmoooove muthafucka hear thee, thou wilt anger his muthafuckin ass.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">MERCUTIO

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">This cannot anger him: 'twould anger him

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">To raise a spirit up in his crazy-ass mistress' circle

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Of some strange nature, lettin it there stand

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Till dat freaky freaky biatch had laid it n' conjured it down;

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">That was some spite: mah invocation

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Is fair n' honest, n' up in his crazy-ass mistres s' name

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">I conjure only but ta raise up his muthafuckin ass.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">BENVOLIO

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Come, dat schmoooove muthafucka hath hid his dirty ass among these trees,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">To be consorted wit tha humorous night:

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Blind is his fuckin ludd n' dopest befits tha dark.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">MERCUTIO

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">If ludd be blind, ludd cannot hit tha mark.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Now will da perved-out muthafucka sit under a medlar tree,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">And wish his crazy-ass mistress was dat kind of fruit

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">As maidz call medlars, when they laugh ridin' solo.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Romeo, dat dat biiiiatch were, O, dat dat biiiiatch were

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">An open et caetera, thou a pimprin pear!

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Romeo, phat night: I be bout ta ta mah truckle-bed;

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">This field-bed is too cold fo' me ta chill:

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Come, shall we go?

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">BENVOLIO

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Go, then; fo' 'tis up in vain

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">To seek his ass here dat means not ta be found.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Exeunt

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">SCENE Pt II. Capuletz orchard.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Enter ROMEO

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">ROMEO

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Dude jests at scars dat never felt a wound.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">JULIET appears above at a window

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">But, soft son! what tha fuck light all up in yonder window breaks?

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">It be tha eastside, n' Juliet is tha sun.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Arise, fair sun, n' bust a cap up in tha envious moon,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Dum diddy-dum, here I come biaaatch! Who tha fuck be already sick n' pale wit grief,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">That thou her maid art far mo' fair than she:

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Be not her maid, since her ass is envious;

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Her vestal livery is but sick n' green

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">And none but fools do wear it; cast it off.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">It be mah lady, O, it is mah love!

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">O, dat she knew dat biiiiatch were!

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Bitch speaks yet her big-ass booty say nothing: what tha fuck of that?

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Her eye discourses; I'ma answer dat shit.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">I be too bold, 'tis not ta me her big-ass booty speaks:

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Two of tha fairest stars up in all tha heaven,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Havin some bidnizz, do entreat her eyes

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">To twinkle up in they spheres till they return.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">What if her eyes was there, they up in her head?

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Da brightnizz of her cheek would shame dem stars,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">As daylight doth a lamp; her eyes up in heaven

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Would all up in tha airy region stream so bright

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">That birdz would rap n' be thinkin it was not night.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">See, how tha fuck she leans her cheek upon her hand!

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">O, dat I was a gludd upon dat hand,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">That I might bust a nut on dat cheek!

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">JULIET

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Ay me!

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">ROMEO

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Bitch speaks:

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">O, drop a rhyme again, bright angel! fo' thou art

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">As glorious ta dis night, bein o'er mah head

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">As be a winged messenger of heaven

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Unto tha white-upturned wonderin eyes

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Of mortals dat fall back ta gaze on him

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">When his thugged-out lil' punk-ass bestrides tha lazy-pacin clouds

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">And sails upon tha bosom of tha air.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">JULIET

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">O Romeo, Romeo! wherefore art thou Romeo?

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Deny thy daddy n' refuse thy name;

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Or, if thou wilt not, be but sworn mah love,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">And I be bout ta no longer be a Capulet.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">ROMEO

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">[Aside] Shall I hear more, or shall I drop a rhyme at this?

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">JULIET

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">'Tis but thy name dat is mah enemy;

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Thou art thyself, though not a Montague.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Whatz Montague, biatch? it is nor hand, nor foot,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Nor arm, nor face, nor any other part

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Belongin ta a man. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. O, be some other name!

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Whatz up in a name, biatch? dat which we call a rose

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">By any other name would smell as dope;

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">So Romeo would, was he not Romeo call'd,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Retain dat dear perfection which he owes

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Without dat title. Romeo, doff thy name,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">And fo' dat name which is no part of thee

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Take all mah dirty ass.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">ROMEO

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">I take thee at thy word:

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Call me but love, n' I be bout ta be freshly smoked up baptized;

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Henceforth I never is ghon be Romeo.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">JULIET

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">What playa art thou dat thus bescreen'd up in night

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">So stumblest on mah counsel?

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">ROMEO

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">By a name

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">I know not how tha fuck ta tell thee whoz ass I am:

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">My fuckin name, dear saint, is hateful ta mah dirty ass,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Because it be a enemy ta thee;

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Had I it written, I would tear tha word.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">JULIET

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">My fuckin ears aint yet faded a hundred lyrics

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Of dat tonguez utterance, yet I know tha sound:

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Art thou not Romeo n' a Montague?

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">ROMEO

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Neither, fair saint, if either thee dislike.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">JULIET

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">How tha fuck camest thou hither, tell me, n' wherefore?

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Da orchard walls is high n' hard ta climb,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">And tha place dirtnap, thankin bout whoz ass thou art,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">If any of mah kinsmen find thee here.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">ROMEO

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">With lovez light wings did I o'er-perch these walls;

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">For stony limits cannot hold ludd out,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">And what tha fuck ludd can do dat dares ludd attempt;

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Therefore thy kinsmen is no let ta mah dirty ass.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">JULIET

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">If they do peep thee, they will cappin' thee.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">ROMEO

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Alack, there lies mo' peril up in thine eye

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Than twenty of they swords: look thou but dope,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">And I be proof against they enmity.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">JULIET

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">I would not fo' tha ghetto they saw thee here.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">ROMEO

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">I have nightz cloak ta hide me from they sight;

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">And but thou ludd me, let dem find mah crazy ass here:

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">My fuckin game was mo' betta ended by they hate,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Than dirtnap prorogued, wantin of thy love.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">JULIET

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">By whose direction found'st thou up dis place?

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">ROMEO

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">By love, whoz ass first did prompt me ta inquire;

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Dude lent me counsel n' I lent his ass eyes.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">I be no pilot; yet, wert thou as far

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">As dat vast shore wash'd wit tha farthest sea,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">I would adventure fo' such loot.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">JULIET

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Thou know'st tha mask of night is on mah face,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Else would a maiden blush bepaint mah cheek

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">For dat which thou hast heard mah crazy ass drop a rhyme to-night

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Fain would I dwell on form, fain, fain deny

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">What I have spoke: but farewell compliment!

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Dost thou ludd me son, biatch? I know thou wilt say 'Ay,'

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">And I'ma take thy word: yet if thou swear'st,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Thou mayst prove false; at freaks' perjuries

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Then say, Jove laughs. O gentle Romeo,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">If thou dost love, pronounce it faithfully:

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Or if thou think'st I be too quickly won,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">I be bout ta frown n' be perverse a say thee nay,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">So thou wilt woo; but else, not fo' tha ghetto. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">In truth, fair Montague, I be too fond,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">And therefore thou mayst be thinkin mah 'havior light:

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">But trust me, gentleman, I be bout ta prove mo' true

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Than dem dat have mo' cunnin ta be strange.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">I should done been mo' strange, I must confess,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">But dat thou overheard'st, ere I was ware,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">My fuckin legit lovez passion: therefore pardon me,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">And not impute dis yieldin ta light love,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Which tha dark night hath so discovered.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">ROMEO

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Lady, by yonder pimped moon I swear

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">That tips wit silver all these fruit-tree tops--

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">JULIET

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">O, swear not by tha moon, tha inconstant moon,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">That monthly chizzlez up in her circled orb,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Lest dat thy ludd prove likewise variable.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">ROMEO

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">What shall I swear by?

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">JULIET

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Do not swear at all;

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Or, if thou wilt, swear by thy gracious self,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Which is tha god of mah idolatry,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">And I be bout ta believe thee.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">ROMEO

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">If mah heartz dear love--

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">JULIET

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Well, do not swear: although I joy up in thee,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">I have no joy of dis contract to-night:

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">It be too rash, too unadvised, too sudden;

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Too like tha lightning, which doth cease ta be

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Ere one can say 'It lightens.' Sweet, phat night!

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">This bud of love, by summerz ripenin breath,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">May prove a funky-ass beauteous flower when next we meet.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Dope night, phat night son! as dope repose n' rest

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Come ta thy ass as dat within mah breast!

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">ROMEO

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">O, wilt thou leave me so unsatisfied?

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">JULIET

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">What satisfaction canst thou have to-night?

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">ROMEO

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Da exchange of thy lovez faithful vow fo' mine.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">JULIET

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">I gave thee mine before thou didst request it:

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">And yet I would it was ta give again.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">ROMEO

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Wouldst thou withdraw it, biatch? fo' what tha fuck purpose, love?

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">JULIET

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">But ta be frank, n' give it thee again.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">And yet I wish but fo' tha thang I have:

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">My fuckin bounty be as boundless as tha sea,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">My fuckin ludd as deep; tha mo' I give ta thee,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Da mo' I have, fo' both is infinite.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Nurse calls within

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">I hear some noise within; dear love, adieu!

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Anon, phat nurse biaaatch! Sweet Montague, be true.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Stay but a lil, I'ma come again.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Exit, above

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">ROMEO

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">O pimped, pimped night son! I be afeard.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Bein up in night, all dis is but a thugged-out dream,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Too flattering-sweet ta be substantial.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Re-enter JULIET, above

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">JULIET

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Three lyrics, dear Romeo, n' phat night indeed.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">If dat thy bent of ludd be honourable,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Thy purpose marriage, bust me word to-morrow,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">By one dat I be bout ta procure ta come ta thee,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Where n' what tha fuck time thou wilt big-ass up tha rite;

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">And all mah fortunes at thy foot I be bout ta lay

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">And follow thee mah lord all up in tha ghetto. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Nurse

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">[Within] Madam!

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">JULIET

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">I come, anon.--But if thou mean'st not well,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">I do beseech thee--

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Nurse

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">[Within] Madam!

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">JULIET

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">By n' by, I come:--

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">To cease thy suit, n' leave me ta mah grief:

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">To-morrow will I send.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">ROMEO

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">So thrive mah soul--

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">JULIET

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">A thousand times phat night!

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Exit, above

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">ROMEO

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">A thousand times tha worse, ta want thy light.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Ludd goes toward love, as schoolboys from

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">their books,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">But ludd from love, toward school wit heavy looks.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Retiring

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Re-enter JULIET, above

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">JULIET

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Hist son! Romeo, hist son! O, fo' a gangbangin' falconerz voice,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">To lure dis tassel-gentle back again!

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Bondage is hoarse, n' may not drop a rhyme aloud;

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Else would I tear tha cave where Echo lies,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">And make her airy tongue mo' hoarse than mine,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">With repetizzle of mah Romeoz name.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">ROMEO

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">It be mah ass dat calls upon mah name:

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">How tha fuck silver-sweet sound freaks' tongues by night,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Like softest noize ta attendin ears!

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">JULIET

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Romeo!

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">ROMEO

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">My fuckin dear?

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">JULIET

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">At what tha fuck o'clock to-morrow

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Shall I bust ta thee?

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">ROMEO

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">At tha minute of nine.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">JULIET

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">I'ma not fail: 'tis twenty muthafuckin years till then.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">I have forgot why I did call thee back.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">ROMEO

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Let me stand here till thou remember dat shit.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">JULIET

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">I shall forget, ta have thee still stand there,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Rememberin how tha fuck I gots a straight-up boner fo' thy company.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">ROMEO

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">And I be bout ta still stay, ta have thee still forget,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Forgettin any other home but all dis bullshit.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">JULIET

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">'Tis almost morning; I would have thee gone:

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">And yet no further than a wantonz bird;

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Dum diddy-dum, here I come biaaatch! Who tha fuck lets it hop a lil from her hand,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Like a skanky prisoner up in his cold-ass twisted gyves,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">And wit a silk thread plucks it back again,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">So gangbangin-jealouz of his fuckin liberty.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">ROMEO

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">I would I was thy bird.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">JULIET

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Sweet, so would I:

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Yet I should bust a cap up in thee wit much cherishing.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Dope night, phat night son! partin is such

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">sweet sorrow,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">That I shall say phat night till it be morrow.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Exit above

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">ROMEO

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Sleep dwell upon thine eyes, peace up in thy breast!

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Would I was chill n' peace, so dope ta rest!

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Hence will I ta mah pimply fatherz cell,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">His help ta crave, n' mah dear hap ta tell.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Exit

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">SCENE Pt III. Friar Laurencez cell.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Enter FRIAR LAURENCE, wit a funky-ass basket

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">FRIAR LAURENCE

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Da grey-eyed morn smilez on tha frownin night,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Chequerin tha eastsideern cloudz wit streakz of light,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">And flecked darknizz like a thugged-out fadedard reels

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">From forth dayz path n' Titanz fiery wheels:

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Now, ere tha sun advizzle his burnin eye,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Da dizzle ta cheer n' nightz dank dew ta dry,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">I must up-fill dis osier cage of ours

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">With baleful weedz n' precious-juiced flowers.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Da earth thatz naturez mutha is her tomb;

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">What tha fuck iz her buryin grave dat is her womb,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">And from her womb lil pimpz of divers kind

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">We suckin on her natural bosom find,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Many fo' nuff virtues pimpin,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">None but fo' some n' yet all different.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">O, mickle is tha bangin grace dat lies

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">In herbs, plants, stones, n' they legit qualities:

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">For nought so vile dat on tha earth doth live

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">But ta tha earth some special phat doth give,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Nor aught so phat but strain'd from dat fair use

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Revolts from legit birth, stumblin on abuse:

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Virtue itself turns vice, bein misapplied;

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">And vice sometimes by action dignified.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Within tha infant rind of dis lil' small-ass flower

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Poison hath residence n' medicine power:

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">For this, bein smelt, wit dat part cheers each part;

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Bein smoked, slays all senses wit tha ass.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Two such opposed mackdaddys encamp dem still

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">In playa as well as herbs, grace n' rude will;

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">And where tha worser is predominant,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Full soon tha canker dirtnap smokes up dat plant.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Enter ROMEO

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">ROMEO

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Dope morrow, father.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">FRIAR LAURENCE

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Benedicite!

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">What early tongue so dope saluteth me son?

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Young son, it argues a gangbangin' finger-lickin' distemper'd head

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">So soon ta bid phat morrow ta thy bed:

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Care keeps his thugged-out lil' peep up in every last muthafuckin oldschool manz eye,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">And where care lodges, chill aint NEVER gonna lie;

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">But where unbruised youth wit unstuff'd dome

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Doth couch his fuckin limbs, there golden chill doth reign:

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Therefore thy earlinizz doth me assure

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Thou art up-roused by some distemperature;

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Or if not so, then here I hit it right,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Our Romeo hath not been up in bed to-night.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">ROMEO

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">That last is true; tha dopeer rest was mine.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">FRIAR LAURENCE

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Dogg pardon sin! wast thou wit Rosaline?

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">ROMEO

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">With Rosaline, mah pimply father, biatch? no;

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">I have forgot dat name, n' dat namez woe.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">FRIAR LAURENCE

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Thatz mah phat son: but where hast thou been, then?

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">ROMEO

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">I be bout ta tell thee, ere thou ask it me again.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">I done been feastin wit mine enemy,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Where on a sudden one hath wounded me,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Thatz by me wounded: both our remedies

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Within thy help n' holy physic lies:

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">I bear no hatred, pimped dude, for, lo,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">My fuckin intercession likewise steadz mah foe.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">FRIAR LAURENCE

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Be plain, phat son, n' homely up in thy drift;

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Riddlin confession findz but riddlin shrift.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">ROMEO

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Then plainly know mah heartz dear ludd is set

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">On tha fair daughter of rich Capulet:

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">As mine on hers, so hers is set on mine;

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">And all combined, save what tha fuck thou must combine

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">By holy marriage: when n' where n' how

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">We met, we woo'd n' made exchange of vow,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">I be bout ta tell thee as we pass; but dis I pray,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">That thou consent ta fuck our asses to-day.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">FRIAR LAURENCE

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Holy Saint Frankie, what tha fuck a cold-ass lil chizzle is here!

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Is Rosaline, whom thou didst ludd so dear,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">So soon forsaken, biatch? lil' menz ludd then lies

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Not truly up in they hearts yo, but up in they eyes.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Jesu Maria, what tha fuck a thugged-out deal of brine

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Hath wash'd thy sallow cheeks fo' Rosaline!

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">How tha fuck much salt gin n juice thrown away up in waste,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">To season love, dat of it doth not taste!

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Da sun not yet thy sighs from heaven clears,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Thy oldschool groans rang yet up in mah ancient ears;

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Lo, here upon thy cheek tha stain doth sit

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Of a oldschool tear dat aint wash'd off yet:

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">If e'er thou wast thyself n' these woes thine,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Thou n' these woes was all fo' Rosaline:

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">And art thou chizzled, biatch? pronounce dis sentence then,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Booty may fall, when there be a no strength up in men.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">ROMEO

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Thou chid'st me oft fo' gangbangin Rosaline.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">FRIAR LAURENCE

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">For doting, not fo' gangbangin, pupil mine.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">ROMEO

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">And bad'st me bury love.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">FRIAR LAURENCE

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Not up in a grave,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">To lay one in, another up ta have.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">ROMEO

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">I pray thee, chide not; dat biiiiatch whom I gots a straight-up boner fo' now

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Doth grace fo' grace n' ludd fo' ludd allow;

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Da other did not so.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">FRIAR LAURENCE

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">O, she knew well

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Thy ludd did read by rote n' could not spell.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">But come, lil' waverer, come, go wit me,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">In one respect I be bout ta thy assistant be;

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">For dis alliizzle may so aiiight prove,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">To turn yo' households' rancour ta pure love.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">ROMEO

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">O, let our asses hence; I stand on sudden haste.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">FRIAR LAURENCE

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Wisely n' slow; they stumble dat run fast.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Exeunt

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">SCENE IV fo' realz. A street.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Enter BENVOLIO n' MERCUTIO

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">MERCUTIO

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Where tha devil should dis Romeo be?

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Came he not home to-night?

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">BENVOLIO

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Not ta his wild lil' father's; I was rappin wit his crazy-ass man.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">MERCUTIO

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Ah, dat same pale hard-hearted wench, dat Rosaline.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Torments his ass so, dat da thug will shizzle run mad.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">BENVOLIO

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Tybalt, tha kinsman of oldschool Capulet,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Hath busted a letter ta his wild lil' fatherz house.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">MERCUTIO

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">A challenge, on mah game.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">BENVOLIO

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Romeo will answer dat shit.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">MERCUTIO

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Any playa dat can write may answer a letter.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">BENVOLIO

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Nay, da thug will answer tha letterz master, how tha fuck he

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">dares, bein dared.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">MERCUTIO

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Alas skanky Romeo! he be already dead; jabbed wit a

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">white wenchz black eye; blasted all up in tha ear wit a

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">love-song; tha straight-up pin of his thugged-out ass cleft wit the

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">blind bow-boyz butt-shaft: n' is he a playa to

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">encounter Tybalt?

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">BENVOLIO

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Why, what tha fuck is Tybalt?

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">MERCUTIO

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Mo' than pimp of cats, I can tell yo thugged-out ass. O, he is

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">the courageous captain of compliments yo. Dude fights as

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">you rap prick-song, keeps time, distance, and

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">proportion; rests me his crazy-ass minim rest, one, two, and

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">the third up in yo' bosom: tha straight-up butcher of a silk

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">button, a thugged-out duellist, a thugged-out duellist; a gentleman of the

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">very first house, of tha straight-up original gangsta n' second cause:

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">ah, tha immortal passado! tha punto reverso! the

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">hai!

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">BENVOLIO

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Da what?

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">MERCUTIO

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Da pox of such antic, lisping, affecting

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">fantasticoes; these freshly smoked up tunerz of accents muthafucka! 'By Jesu,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">a straight-up phat blade biaaatch! a straight-up tall man! a straight-up good

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">whore!' Why, aint dis a lamentable thang,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">grandsire, dat we should be thus afflicted with

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">these strange flies, these fashion-mongers, these

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">perdona-mi's, whoz ass stand so much on tha freshly smoked up form,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">that they cannot at ease on tha oldschool bench, biatch? O, their

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">bones, they bones!

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Enter ROMEO

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">BENVOLIO

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Here comes Romeo, here comes Romeo.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">MERCUTIO

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Without his bangin roe, like a thugged-out dried herring: flesh, flesh,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">how art thou fishified hommie! Now is he fo' tha numbers

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">that Petrarch flowed in: Laura ta his fuckin lady was but a

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">kitchen-wench; marry, dat freaky freaky biatch had a funky-ass mo' betta ludd to

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">be-rhyme her; Dido a thugged-out dowdy; Cleopatra a gipsy;

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Helen n' Pimp hildings n' harlots; Thisbe a grey

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">eye or so yo, but not ta tha purpose. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Signior

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Romeo, bon jour playa! there be a a French salutation

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">to yo' French slop. Yo ass gave our asses tha counterfeit

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">fairly last night.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">ROMEO

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Dope morrow ta you both. What counterfeit did I give yo slick ass?

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">MERCUTIO

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Da ship, sir, tha slip; can you not conceive?

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">ROMEO

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Pardon, phat Mercutio, mah bidnizz was pimped out; n' in

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">such a cold-ass lil case as mine a playa may strain courtesy.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">MERCUTIO

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Thatz as much as ta say, such a cold-ass lil case as yours

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">constrains a playa ta bow up in tha hams.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">ROMEO

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Meaning, ta court'sy.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">MERCUTIO

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Thou hast most kindly hit dat shit.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">ROMEO

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">A most courteous exposition.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">MERCUTIO

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Nay, I be tha straight-up pink of courtesy.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">ROMEO

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Pink fo' flower.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">MERCUTIO

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Right.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">ROMEO

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Why, then is mah pump well flowered.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">MERCUTIO

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Well holla'd: gangbang me dis jest now till thou hast

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">worn up thy pump, dat when tha single sole of it

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">is worn, tha jest may remain afta tha bustin sole singular.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">ROMEO

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">O single-soled jest, solely singular fo' the

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">singleness.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">MERCUTIO

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Come between us, phat Benvolio; mah wits faint.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">ROMEO

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Switch n' spurs, switch n' spurs; or I be bout ta cry a match.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">MERCUTIO

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Nay, if thy wits run tha wild-goose chase, I have

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">done, fo' thou hast mo' of tha wild-goose up in one of

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">thy wits than, I be sure, I have up in mah whole five:

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">was I wit you there fo' tha goose?

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">ROMEO

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Thou wast never wit me fo' any thang when thou wast

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">not there fo' tha goose.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">MERCUTIO

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">I'ma bite thee by tha ear fo' dat jest.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">ROMEO

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Nay, phat goose, bite not.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">MERCUTIO

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Thy wit be a straight-up bitter dopeing; it aint nuthin but a most

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">sharp sauce.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">ROMEO

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">And is it not well served up in ta a thugged-out dope goose?

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">MERCUTIO

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">O herez a wit of cheveril, dat stretches from an

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">inch narrow ta a ell broad!

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">ROMEO

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">I stretch it up fo' dat word 'broad;' which added

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">to tha goose, proves thee far n' wide a funky-ass broad goose.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">MERCUTIO

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Why, aint dis mo' betta now than groanin fo' love?

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">now art thou sociable, now art thou Romeo; now art

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">thou what tha fuck thou art, by art as well as by nature:

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">for dis drivellin ludd is like a pimped out natural,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">that runs lollin up n' down ta hide his bauble up in a hole.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">BENVOLIO

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Quit there, stop there.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">MERCUTIO

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Thou desirest me ta stop up in mah tale against tha hair.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">BENVOLIO

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Thou wouldst else have made thy tale large.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">MERCUTIO

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">O, thou art deceived; I would have juiced it up short:

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">for I was come ta tha whole depth of mah tale; and

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">meant, indeed, ta occupy tha argument no longer.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">ROMEO

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Herez goodly gear!

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Enter Nurse n' PETER

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">MERCUTIO

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">A sail, a sail!

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">BENVOLIO

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Two, two; a hoodie n' a smock.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Nurse

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Peter!

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">PETER

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Anon!

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Nurse

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">My fuckin fan, Peter.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">MERCUTIO

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Dope Peter, ta hide her face; fo' her fanz the

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">fairer face.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Nurse

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Dogg ye phat morrow, gentlemen.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">MERCUTIO

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Dogg ye phat den, fair gentlewoman.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Nurse

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Is it phat den?

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">MERCUTIO

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">'Tis no less, I rap, fo' tha bawdy hand of the

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">dial is now upon tha prick of noon.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Nurse

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Out upon you, nahmean biiiatch, biatch? what tha fuck a playa is you, nahmean biiiatch?

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">ROMEO

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">One, gentlewoman, dat Dogg hath made fo' his dirty ass to

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">mar.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Nurse

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">By mah troth, it is well holla'd; 'for his dirty ass ta mar,'

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">quoth a', biatch? Gentlemen, can any of y'all tell me where I

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">may find tha lil' Romeo?

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">ROMEO

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">I can rap ; but lil' Romeo is ghon be olda when

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">you have found his ass than da thug was when you sought him:

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">I be tha youngest of dat name, fo' fault of a worse.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Nurse

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Yo ass say well.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">MERCUTIO

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Yea, is da most thugged-out shitty well, biatch? straight-up well took, i' faith;

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">wisely, wisely.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Nurse

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">if you be he, sir, I desire some confidence with

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">you.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">BENVOLIO

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Bitch will indite his ass ta some supper.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">MERCUTIO

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">A bawd, a funky-ass bawd, a funky-ass bawd hommie! so ho!

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">ROMEO

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">What hast thou found?

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">MERCUTIO

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">No hare, sir; unless a hare, sir, up in a lenten pie,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">that is suttin' stale n' hoar ere it be spent.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Sings

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">An oldschool hare hoar,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">And a oldschool hare hoar,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Is straight-up phat meat up in lent

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">But a hare dat is hoar

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Is too much fo' a score,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">When it hoars ere it be spent.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Romeo, will you come ta yo' father's, biatch? we'll

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">to dinner, thither.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">ROMEO

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">I'ma follow yo thugged-out ass.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">MERCUTIO

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Farewell, ancient lady; farewell,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Singing

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">'lady, lady, lady.'

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Exeunt MERCUTIO n' BENVOLIO

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Nurse

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Marry, farewell! I pray you, sir, what tha fuck saucy

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">merchant was this, dat was so full of his bangin ropery?

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">ROMEO

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">A gentleman, nurse, dat loves ta hear his dirty ass talk,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">and will drop a rhyme mo' up in a minute than da thug will stand

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">to up in a month.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Nurse

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">An a' drop a rhyme any thang against me, I be bout ta take him

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">down, a a' was lustier than he is, n' twenty such

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Jacks; n' if I cannot, I be bout ta find dem dat shall.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Scurvy knave biaaatch! I be none of his wild lil' flirt-gills; I am

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">none of his skains-mates fo' realz. And thou must stand by

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">too, n' suffer every last muthafuckin knave ta use me at his thugged-out lil' pleasure?

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">PETER

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">I saw no playa use you a pleasure; if I had, mah weapon

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">should quickly done been out, I warrant you: I dare

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">draw as soon as another dude, if I peep occasion up in a

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">phat quarrel, n' tha law on mah side.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Nurse

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Now, afore God, I be so vexed, dat every last muthafuckin part about

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">me quivers. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Scurvy knave biaaatch! Pray you, sir, a word:

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">and as I holla'd at you, mah lil' lady bade me inquire you

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">out; what tha fuck da hoe bade me say, I'ma keep ta mah dirty ass:

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">but first let me tell ye, if ye should lead her into

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">a foolz paradise, as they say, it was a straight-up gross

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">kind of behavior, as they say: fo' tha gentlewoman

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">is young; and, therefore, if you should deal double

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">with her, truly it was a ill thang ta be offered

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">to any gentlewoman, n' straight-up weak dealing.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">ROMEO

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Nurse, commend mah crazy ass ta thy lady n' mistress. I

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">protest unto thee--

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Nurse

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Dope ass, and, i' faith, I'ma tell her as much:

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Lord, Lord, dat biiiiatch is ghon be a joyful biatch.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">ROMEO

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">What wilt thou tell her, nurse, biatch? thou dost not mark mah dirty ass.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Nurse

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">I'ma tell her, sir, dat you do protest; which, as

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">I take it, be a gentlemanlike offer.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">ROMEO

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Bid her devise

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Some means ta come ta shrift dis afternoon;

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">And there her big-ass booty shall at Friar Laurence' cell

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Be shrived n' married. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Here is fo' thy pains.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Nurse

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">No truly sir; not a penny.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">ROMEO

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Go to; I say you shall.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Nurse

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">This afternoon, sir, biatch? well, her big-ass booty shall be there.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">ROMEO

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">And stay, phat nurse, behind tha abbey wall:

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Within dis minute mah playa shall be wit thee

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">And brang thee cordz made like a tackled stair;

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Which ta tha high top-gallant of mah joy

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Must be mah convoy up in tha secret night.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Farewell; be trusty, n' I be bout ta quit thy pains:

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Farewell; commend mah crazy ass ta thy mistress.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Nurse

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Now Dogg up in heaven bless thee biaaatch! Hark you, sir.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">ROMEO

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">What say'st thou, mah dear nurse?

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Nurse

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Is yo' playa secret, biatch? Did yo dirty ass ne'er hear say,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Two may keep counsel, puttin one away?

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">ROMEO

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">I warrant thee, mah manz as legit as steel.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">NURSE

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Well, sir; mah mistress is tha dopeest lady--Lord,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Lord hommie! when 'twas a lil pratin thang:--O, there

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">is a nobleman up in town, one Paris, dat would fain

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">lay knife aboard; but she, phat soul, had as lief

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">see a toad, a straight-up toad, as peep his muthafuckin ass. I anger her

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">sometimes n' tell her dat Paris is tha properer

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">man; but, I be bout ta warrant you, when I say so, she looks

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">as pale as any clout up in tha versal ghetto. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Doth not

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">rosemary n' Romeo begin both wit a letter?

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">ROMEO

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Ay, nurse; what tha fuck of that, biatch? both wit a R.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Nurse

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Ah. mocker playa! thatz tha dogz name; R is for

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">the--No; I know it begins wit some other

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">letter:--and dat freaky freaky biatch hath tha prettiest sententious of

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">it, of y'all n' rosemary, dat it would do you good

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">to hear dat shit.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">ROMEO

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Commend mah crazy ass ta thy lady.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Nurse

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Ay, a thousand times.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Exit Romeo

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Peter!

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">PETER

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Anon!

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Nurse

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Peter, take mah fan, n' go before n' apace.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Exeunt

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">SCENE V. Capuletz orchard.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Enter JULIET

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">JULIET

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Da clock struck nine when I did bust tha nurse;

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">In half a minute she promised ta return.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Perchizzle dat thugged-out biiiatch cannot hook up him: thatz not so.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">O, her ass is lame biaaatch! lovez heraldz should be thoughts,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Which ten times fasta glide than tha sunz beams,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Ridin back shadows over lourin hills:

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Therefore do nimble-pinion'd doves draw love,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">And therefore hath tha wind-swift Cupid wings.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Now is tha sun upon tha highmost hill

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Of dis dayz journey, n' from nine till twelve

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Is three long hours, yet she aint come.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Had she affections n' warm youthful blood,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Bitch would be as swift up in motion as a funky-ass ball;

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">My fuckin lyrics would bandy her ta mah dope love,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">And his cold-ass ta me:

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">But oldschool folks, nuff feign as they was dead;

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Unwieldy, slow, heavy n' pale as lead.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">O God, dat thugged-out biiiatch comes!

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Enter Nurse n' PETER

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">O honey nurse, what tha fuck news?

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Hast thou kicked it wit wit him, biatch? Send thy playa away.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Nurse

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Peter, stay all up in tha gate.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Exit PETER

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">JULIET

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Now, phat dope nurse,--O Lord, why look'st thou sad?

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Though shizzle be sad, yet tell dem merrily;

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">If good, thou shamest tha noize of dope news

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">By playin it ta me wit so sour a gangbangin' face.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Nurse

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">I be a-weary, give me leave awhile:

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Fie, how tha fuck mah bones ache biaaatch! what tha fuck a jaunt have I had!

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">JULIET

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">I would thou hadst mah bones, n' I thy news:

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Nay, come, I pray thee, speak; good, phat nurse, speak.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Nurse

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Jesu, what tha fuck haste, biatch? can you not stay awhile?

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Do you not peep dat I be outta breath?

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">JULIET

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">How tha fuck art thou outta breath, when thou hast breath

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">To say ta me dat thou art outta breath?

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Da excuse dat thou dost make up in dis delay

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Is longer than tha tale thou dost excuse.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Is thy shizzle good, or bad, biatch? answer ta that;

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Say either, n' I be bout ta stay tha circumstance:

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Let me be satisfied, is't phat or bad?

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Nurse

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Well, you have done cooked up a simple chizzle; you know not

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">how ta chizzle a man: Romeo! no, not he; though his

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">face be mo' betta than any man's, yet his fuckin leg excels

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">all men's; n' fo' a hand, n' a gangbangin' foot, n' a funky-ass body,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">though they be not ta be talked on, yet they are

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">past compare: he aint tha flower of courtesy,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">but, I be bout ta warrant him, as gentle as a lamb. Go thy

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">ways, wench; serve Dogg. What, have you dined at home?

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">JULIET

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Fuck dat shit, no: but all dis did I know before.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">What say he of our marriage, biatch? what tha fuck of that?

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Nurse

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Lord, how tha fuck mah head aches muthafucka! what tha fuck a head have I!

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">It beats as it would fall up in twenty pieces.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">My fuckin back o' t' other side,--O, mah back, mah back!

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Beshrew yo' ass fo' bustin me about,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">To catch mah dirtnap wit jauntin up n' down!

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">JULIET

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">I' faith, I be sorry dat thou art not well.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Sweet, dope, dope nurse, tell me, what tha fuck say mah love?

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Nurse

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Yo crazy-ass ludd says, like a real gentleman, n' a

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">courteous, n' a kind, n' a thugged-out, and, I

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">warrant, a virtuous,--Where is yo' mother?

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">JULIET

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Where is mah mutha playa! why, her ass is within;

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Where should da hoe be, biatch? How tha fuck oddly thou repliest!

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">'Yo crazy-ass ludd says, like a real gentleman,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Where is yo' mother?'

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Nurse

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">O Godz lady dear!

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Is you so hot, biatch? marry, come up, I trow;

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Is dis tha poultice fo' mah achin bones?

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Henceforward do yo' lyrics yo ass.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">JULIET

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Herez such a cold-ass lil coil! come, what tha fuck say Romeo?

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Nurse

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Has you done gots leave ta git all up in shrift to-day?

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">JULIET

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">I have.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Nurse

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Then hie you hence ta Friar Laurence' cell;

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">There stays a homeboy ta make you a hoe:

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Now comes tha wanton blood up in yo' cheeks,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">They'll be up in scarlet straight at any news.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Hie you ta church; I must another way,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">To fetch a ladder, by tha which yo' love

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Must climb a funky-ass birdz nest soon when it is dark:

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">I be tha drudge n' toil up in yo' delight,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">But you shall bear tha burden soon at night.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Go; I be bout ta ta dinner: hie you ta tha cell.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">JULIET

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Hie ta high fortune biaaatch! Honest nurse, farewell.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Exeunt

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">SCENE VI. Friar Laurencez cell.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Enter FRIAR LAURENCE n' ROMEO

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">FRIAR LAURENCE

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">So smile tha heavens upon dis holy act,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">That afta minutes wit sorrow chide our asses not!

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">ROMEO

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Amen, amen! but come what tha fuck sorrow can,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">It cannot countervail tha exchange of joy

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">That one short minute gives me up in her sight:

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Do thou but close our handz wit holy lyrics,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Then love-devourin dirtnap do what tha fuck da ruffneck dare;

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">It be enough I may but call her mine.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">FRIAR LAURENCE

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">These violent delights have violent ends

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">And up in they triumph die, like fire n' powder,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Which as they lick consume: tha dopeest honey

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Is loathsome up in his own deliciousness

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">And up in tha taste confoundz tha appetite:

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Therefore ludd moderately; long ludd doth so;

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Too swift arrives as tardy as too slow.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Enter JULIET

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Here comes tha lady: O, so light a gangbangin' foot

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Will ne'er wear up tha everlastin flint:

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">A freak may bestride tha gossamer

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">That idlez up in tha wanton summer air,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">And yet not fall; so light is vanity.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">JULIET

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Dope even ta mah pimply confessor.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">FRIAR LAURENCE

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Romeo shall give props ta thee, daughter, fo' our asses both.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">JULIET

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">As much ta him, else is his cold-ass props too much.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">ROMEO

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Ah, Juliet, if tha measure of thy joy

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Be heap'd like mine n' dat thy skill be more

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">To blazizzle it, then dopeen wit thy breath

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">This neighbour air, n' let rich musics tongue

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Unfold tha imagined happinizz dat both

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Receive up in either by dis dear encounter.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">JULIET

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Conceit, mo' rich up in matter than up in lyrics,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Bragz of his substance, not of ornament:

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">They is but beggars dat can count they worth;

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">But mah legit ludd is grown ta such excess

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">I cannot sum up sum of half mah wealth.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">FRIAR LAURENCE

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Come, come wit me, n' we will make short work;

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">For, by yo' leaves, you shall not stay alone

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Till holy church incorporate two up in one.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Exeunt

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">ACT Pt III

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">SCENE I fo' realz. A hood place.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Enter MERCUTIO, BENVOLIO, Page, n' Servants

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">BENVOLIO

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">I pray thee, phat Mercutio, letz retire:

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Da dizzle is hot, tha Capulets abroad,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">And, if we meet, we shall not scape a funky-ass brawl;

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">For now, these bangin' days, is tha mad blood stirring.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">MERCUTIO

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Thou art like one of dem fellows dat when he

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">entas tha confinez of a tavern claps me his sword

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">upon tha table n' say 'Dogg bust me no need of

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">thee!' n' by tha operation of tha second cup draws

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">it on tha drawer, when indeed there is no need.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">BENVOLIO

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Am I wanna bust a nut on such a gangbangin' fellow?

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">MERCUTIO

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Come, come, thou art as bangin' a Jack up in thy vibe as

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">any up in Italy, n' as soon moved ta be vibey, n' as

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">soon vibey ta be moved.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">BENVOLIO

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">And what tha fuck to?

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">MERCUTIO

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Nay, a there was two such, we should have none

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">shortly, fo' one would bust a cap up in tha other n' shit. Thou! why,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">thou wilt quarrel wit a playa dat hath a afro more,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">or a afro less, up in his beard, than thou hast: thou

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">wilt quarrel wit a playa fo' crackin nuts, havin no

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">other reason but cuz thou hast hazel eyes: what

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">eye but such a eye would spy up such a quarrel?

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Thy head be as funk of quarrels as a egg is full of

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">meat, n' yet thy head hath been beaten as addle as

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">an egg fo' quarrelling: thou hast quarrelled wit a

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">man fo' coughin up in tha street, cuz dat schmoooove muthafucka hath

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">wakened thy dawg dat hath lain asleep up in tha sun:

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">didst thou not fall up wit a tailor fo' bustin

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">his freshly smoked up doublet before Easter, biatch? wit another, for

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">tyin his freshly smoked up Nikes wit oldschool riband, biatch? n' yet thou

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">wilt tutor me from quarrelling!

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">BENVOLIO

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">An I was so apt ta quarrel as thou art, any man

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">should loot tha fee-simple of mah game fo' a minute n' a quarter.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">MERCUTIO

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Da fee-simple biaaatch! O simple!

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">BENVOLIO

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">By mah head, here come tha Capulets.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">MERCUTIO

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">By mah heel, I care not.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Enter TYBALT n' others

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">TYBALT

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Big up me close, fo' I'ma drop a rhyme ta em.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Gentlemen, phat den: a word wit one of yo thugged-out ass.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">MERCUTIO

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">And but one word wit one of us, biatch? couple it with

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">something; make it a word n' a funky-ass blow.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">TYBALT

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Yo ass shall find mah crazy ass apt enough ta that, sir, a you

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">will give me occasion.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">MERCUTIO

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Could you not take some occasion without giving?

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">TYBALT

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Mercutio, thou consort'st wit Romeo,--

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">MERCUTIO

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Consort son! what, dost thou make our asses minstrels, biatch? an

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">thou make minstrelz of us, look ta hear not a god damn thang but

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">discords: herez mah fiddlestick; herez dat shall

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">make you dance. 'Zounds, consort!

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">BENVOLIO

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">We rap here up in tha hood haunt of men:

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Either withdraw unto some private place,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">And reason coldly of yo' grievances,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Or else depart; here all eyes gaze on us.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">MERCUTIO

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Geez eyes was made ta look, n' let dem gaze;

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">I'ma not budge fo' no manz pleasure, I.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Enter ROMEO

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">TYBALT

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Well, peace be wit you, sir: here comes mah man.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">MERCUTIO

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">But I be bout ta be hanged, sir, if da thug wear yo' livery:

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Marry, go before ta field, he'll be yo' follower;

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Yo crazy-ass worshizzle up in dat sense may call his ass 'man.'

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">TYBALT

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Romeo, tha don't give a fuck bout I bear thee can afford

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">No mo' betta term than this,--thou art a villain.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">ROMEO

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Tybalt, tha reason dat I gotta ludd thee

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Doth much excuse tha appertainin rage

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">To such a greeting: villain is I none;

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Therefore farewell; I peep thou know'st me not.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">TYBALT

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Boy, dis shall not excuse tha fuck-ups

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">That thou hast done me; therefore turn n' draw.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">ROMEO

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">I do protest, I never fucked up thee,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">But ludd thee mo' betta than thou canst devise,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Till thou shalt know tha reason of mah love:

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">And so, phat Capulet,--which name I tender

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">As dearly as mah own,--be satisfied.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">MERCUTIO

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">O calm, dishonourable, vile submission!

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Alla stoccata carries it away.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Draws

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Tybalt, you rat-catcher, will you strutt?

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">TYBALT

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">What wouldst thou have wit me son?

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">MERCUTIO

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Dope mackdaddy of cats, not a god damn thang but one of yo' nine

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">lives; dat I mean ta make bold withal, n' as you

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">shall use me hereafter, drybeat tha rest of the

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">eight. Will you pluck yo' sword outta his thugged-out lil' pitcher

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">by tha ears, biatch? make haste, lest mine be bout your

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">ears ere it be out.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">TYBALT

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">I be fo' yo thugged-out ass.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Drawing

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">ROMEO

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Gentle Mercutio, put thy rapier up.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">MERCUTIO

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Come, sir, yo' passado.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">They fight

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">ROMEO

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Draw, Benvolio; beat down they weapons.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Gentlemen, fo' shame, forbear dis outrage!

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Tybalt, Mercutio, tha pimp expressly hath

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Forbidden bandyin up in Verona streets:

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Hold, Tybalt son! phat Mercutio!

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">TYBALT under ROMEOz arm stabs MERCUTIO, n' flies wit his wild lil' followers

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">MERCUTIO

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">I be hurt.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">A plague o' both yo' houses muthafucka! I be sped.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Is he gone, n' hath nothing?

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">BENVOLIO

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">What, art thou hurt?

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">MERCUTIO

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Ay, ay, a scratch, a scratch; marry, 'tis enough.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Where is mah page, biatch? Go, villain, fetch a surgeon.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Exit Page

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">ROMEO

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Courage, man; tha hurt cannot be much.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">MERCUTIO

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Fuck dat shit, 'tis not so deep as a well, nor so wide as a

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">church-door; but 'tis enough,'twill serve: ask for

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">me to-morrow, n' you shall find mah crazy ass a grave man. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. I

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">am peppered, I warrant, fo' dis ghetto. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! A plague o'

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">both yo' houses muthafucka! 'Zounds, a thugged-out dog, a rat, a mouse, a

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">cat, ta scratch a playa ta dirtnap! a funky-ass braggart, a

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">rogue, a villain, dat fights by tha book of

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">arithmetic! Why tha devil came you between us, biatch? I

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">was hurt under yo' arm.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">ROMEO

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">I thought all fo' da bomb.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">MERCUTIO

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Help me tha fuck into some house, Benvolio,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Or I shall faint fo' realz. A plague o' both yo' houses!

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">They have made worms' meat of me: I have it,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">And soundly too: yo' houses!

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Exeunt MERCUTIO n' BENVOLIO

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">ROMEO

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">This gentleman, tha princez near ally,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">My fuckin straight-up playa, hath gots his crazy-ass mortal hurt

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">In mah behalf; mah hype stain'd

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">With Tybaltz slander,--Tybalt, dat a hour

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Hath been mah kinsman! O dope Juliet,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Thy beauty hath made me effeminate

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">And up in mah temper soften'd valourz steel!

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Re-enter BENVOLIO

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">BENVOLIO

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">O Romeo, Romeo, brave Mercutioz dead!

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">That gallant spirit hath aspired tha clouds,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Which too untimely here did scorn tha earth.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">ROMEO

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">This dayz black fate on mo' minutes doth depend;

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">This but begins tha woe, others must end.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">BENVOLIO

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Here comes tha furious Tybalt back again.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">ROMEO

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Kickin It, up in triumph! n' Mercutio slain!

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Away ta heaven, respectizzle lenity,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">And fire-eyed fury be mah conduct now!

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Re-enter TYBALT

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Now, Tybalt, take tha villain back again,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">That late thou gavest me; fo' Mercutioz soul

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Is but a lil way above our heads,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Stayin fo' thine ta keep his ass company:

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Either thou, or I, or both, must go wit his muthafuckin ass.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">TYBALT

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Thou, wretched boy, dat didst consort his ass here,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Shalt wit his ass hence.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">ROMEO

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">This shall determine dis shit.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">They fight; TYBALT falls

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">BENVOLIO

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Romeo, away, be gone!

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Da playa hatas is up, n' Tybalt slain.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Stand not amazed: tha pimp will doom thee dirtnap,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">If thou art taken: hence, be gone, away!

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">ROMEO

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">O, I be fortunez fool!

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">BENVOLIO

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Why dost thou stay?

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Exit ROMEO

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Enter Citizens, & c

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">First Citizen

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Which way ran tha pimpin' muthafucka dat kill'd Mercutio?

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Tybalt, dat murderer, which way ran he?

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">BENVOLIO

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">There lies dat Tybalt.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">First Citizen

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Up, sir, go wit me;

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">I charge thee up in tha princes name, obey.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Enter Prince, attended; MONTAGUE, CAPULET, they Wives, n' others

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">PRINCE

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Where is tha vile beginnerz of dis fray?

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">BENVOLIO

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">O noble prince, I can discover all

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Da unlucky manage of dis fatal brawl:

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">There lies tha dude, slain by lil' Romeo,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">That slew thy kinsman, brave Mercutio.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">LADY CAPULET

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Tybalt, mah cousin! O mah brotherz child!

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">O pimp biaaatch! O cousin! homeboy hommie! O, tha blood is spilt

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">O mah dear kinsman! Prince, as thou art true,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">For blood of ours, shed blood of Montague.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">O cousin, cousin!

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">PRINCE

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Benvolio, whoz ass fuckin started dis bloody fray?

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">BENVOLIO

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Tybalt, here slain, whom Romeoz hand did slay;

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Romeo dat was rappin his ass fair, bade his ass bethink

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">How tha fuck sick tha quarrel was, n' urged withal

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Yo crazy-ass high displeasure: all dis uttered

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">With gentle breath, calm look, knees humbly bow'd,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Could not take truce wit tha unruly spleen

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Of Tybalt deaf ta peace yo, but dat tha pimpin' muthafucka tilts

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">With piercin steel at bold Mercutioz breast,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Dum diddy-dum, here I come biaaatch! Who tha fuck all as hot, turns deadly point ta point,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">And, wit a martial scorn, wit one hand beats

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Cold dirtnap aside, n' wit tha other sends

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">It back ta Tybalt, whose dexterity,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Retorts it: Romeo his schmoooove ass cries aloud,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">'Hold, playaz muthafucka! playas, part!' and, swifter than

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">his tongue,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">His agile arm beats down they fatal points,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">And 'twixt dem rushes; underneath whose arm

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">An envious thrust from Tybalt hit tha game

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Of stout Mercutio, n' then Tybalt fled;

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">But by n' by comes back ta Romeo,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Dum diddy-dum, here I come biaaatch! Who tha fuck had but newly entertain'd revenge,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">And ta 't they go like lightning, for, ere I

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Could draw ta part them, was stout Tybalt slain.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">And, as he fell, did Romeo turn n' fly.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">This is tha real deal, or let Benvolio take a thugged-out dirt nap.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">LADY CAPULET

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Dude be a kinsman ta tha Montague;

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Affection make his ass false; da perved-out muthafucka speaks not true:

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Some twenty of dem fought up in dis black strife,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">And all dem twenty could but bust a cap up in one game.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">I beg fo' justice, which thou, prince, must give;

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Romeo slew Tybalt, Romeo must not live.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">PRINCE

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Romeo slew him, da perved-out muthafucka slew Mercutio;

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Dum diddy-dum, here I come biaaatch! Who tha fuck now tha price of his fuckin lil' dear blood doth owe?

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">MONTAGUE

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Not Romeo, prince, da thug was Mercutioz playa;

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">His fault concludes but what tha fuck tha law should end,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Da game of Tybalt.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">PRINCE

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">And fo' dat offence

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Immediately our phat asses do exile his ass hence:

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">I have a interest up in yo' hatez proceeding,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">My fuckin blood fo' yo' rude brawls doth lie a-bleeding;

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">But I be bout ta amerce you wit so phat a gangbangin' fine

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">That you shall all repent tha loss of mine:

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">I'ma be deaf ta pleadin n' excuses;

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Nor tears nor lyrics shall purchase up abuses:

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Therefore use none: let Romeo hence up in haste,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Else, when he found, dat minute is his fuckin last.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Bear hence dis body n' git all up in our will:

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Mercy but murders, pardonin dem dat kill.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Exeunt

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">SCENE Pt II. Capuletz orchard.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Enter JULIET

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">JULIET

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Gallop apace, you fiery-footed steeds,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Towardz Phoebus' lodging: such a wagoner

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">As Phaethon would whip you ta tha westside,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">And brang up in cloudy night immediately.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Spread thy close curtain, love-performin night,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">That runawayz eyes may wink n' Romeo

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Leap ta these arms, untalk'd of n' unseen.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Lovers can peep ta do they amorous rites

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">By they own beauties; or, if ludd be blind,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">It dopest agrees wit night. Come, civil night,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Thou sober-suited matron, all up in black,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">And learn me how tha fuck ta lose a ballin match,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Play'd fo' a pair of stainless maidenhoods:

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Hood mah unmann'd blood, batin up in mah cheeks,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">With thy black mantle; till strange love, grown bold,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Think legit ludd acted simple modesty.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Come, night; come, Romeo; come, thou dizzle up in night;

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">For thou wilt lie upon tha wingz of night

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Whiter than freshly smoked up snow on a ravenz back.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Come, gentle night, come, gangbangin, black-brow'd night,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Give me mah Romeo; and, when da perved-out muthafucka shall die,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Take his ass n' cut his ass up in lil stars,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">And da thug will make tha grill of heaven so fine

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">That all tha ghetto is ghon be up in ludd wit night

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">And pay no worshizzle ta tha garish sun.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">O, I have looted tha mansion of a love,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">But not possess'd it, and, though I be sold,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Not yet enjoy'd: so tedious is dis day

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">As is tha night before some gangbang

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">To a impatient lil pimp dat hath freshly smoked up robes

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">And may not wear em. O, here comes mah nurse,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">And da hoe brangs news; n' every last muthafuckin tongue dat speaks

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">But Romeoz name speaks heavenly eloquence.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Enter Nurse, wit cords

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Now, nurse, what tha fuck news, biatch? What hast thou there, biatch? tha cords

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">That Romeo bid thee fetch?

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Nurse

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Ay, ay, tha cords.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Throws dem down

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">JULIET

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Ay me biaaatch! what tha fuck news, biatch? why dost thou wrin thy hands?

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Nurse

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Ah, well-a-dizzle dawwwwg! da ruffneck dead, da ruffneck dead, da ruffneck dead!

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">We is undone, lady, we is undone!

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Alack tha dizzle dawwwwg! he gone, he kill'd, da ruffneck dead!

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">JULIET

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Can heaven be all kindsa envious?

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Nurse

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Romeo can,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Though heaven cannot: O Romeo, Romeo!

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Dum diddy-dum, here I come biaaatch! Who tha fuck eva would have thought it, biatch? Romeo!

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">JULIET

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">What devil art thou, dat dost torment me thus?

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">This torture should be roar'd up in dismal hell.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Hath Romeo slain his dirty ass, biatch? say thou but 'I,'

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">And dat bare vowel 'I' shall poison more

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Than tha dirtnap-dartin eye of cockatrice:

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">I aint I, if there be such a I;

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Or dem eyes shut, dat make thee answer 'I.'

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">If his thugged-out lil' punk-ass be slain, say 'I'; or if not, no:

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Brief soundz determine of mah weal or woe.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Nurse

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">I saw tha wound, I saw it wit mine eyes,--

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Dogg save tha mark!--here on his crazy-ass manly breast:

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">A piteous corse, a funky-ass bloody piteous corse;

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Pale, pale as ashes, all bedaub'd up in blood,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">All up in gore-blood; I swounded all up in tha sight.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">JULIET

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">O, break, mah heart son! skanky bankrupt, break at once!

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">To prison, eyes, ne'er look on liberty!

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Vile earth, ta earth resign; end motion here;

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">And thou n' Romeo press one heavy bier!

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Nurse

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">O Tybalt, Tybalt, tha dopest playa I had!

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">O courteous Tybalt son! real gentleman!

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">That eva I should live ta peep thee dead!

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">JULIET

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">What storm is dis dat blows so contrary?

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Is Romeo slaughter'd, n' is Tybalt dead?

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">My fuckin dear-loved cousin, n' mah dearer lord?

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Then, dreadful trumpet, sound tha general doom!

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">For whoz ass is living, if dem two is gone?

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Nurse

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Tybalt is gone, n' Romeo banished;

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Romeo dat kill'd him, he is banished.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">JULIET

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">O Dogg hommie! did Romeoz hand shed Tybaltz blood?

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Nurse

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">It did, it did; alas tha day, it did!

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">JULIET

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">O serpent ass, hid wit a gangbangin' flowerin face!

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Did eva dragon keep so fair a cold-ass lil cave?

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Beautiful tyrant son! fiend angelical!

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Dove-feather'd raven! wolvish-ravenin lamb!

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Despised substizzle of divinest show!

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Just opposite ta what tha fuck thou justly seem'st,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">A damned saint, a honourable villain!

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">O nature, what tha fuck hadst thou ta do up in hell,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">When thou didst bower tha spirit of a gangbangin' fiend

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">In moral paradise of such dope flesh?

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Was eva book containin such vile matter

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">So fairly bound, biatch? O dat deceit should dwell

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">In such a pimpin' palace!

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Nurse

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Therez no trust,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">No faith, no honesty up in men; all perjured,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">All forsworn, all naught, all dissemblers.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Ah, wherez mah man, biatch? break me off some aqua vitae:

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">These griefs, these woes, these sorrows make me old.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Shame come ta Romeo!

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">JULIET

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Blister'd be thy tongue

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">For such a wish! da thug was not born ta shame:

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Upon his brow shame be ashamed ta sit;

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">For 'tis a throne where honour may be crown'd

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Sole monarch of tha universal earth.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">O, what tha fuck a funky-ass beast was I ta chide at him!

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Nurse

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Will you drop a rhyme well of his ass dat kill'd yo' cousin?

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">JULIET

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Shall I drop a rhyme ill of his ass dat is mah homeboy?

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Ah, skanky mah lord, what tha fuck tongue shall smooth thy name,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">When I, thy three-hours hoe, have mangled it?

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">But, wherefore, villain, didst thou bust a cap up in mah cousin?

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">That villain cousin would have kill'd mah homeboy:

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Back, foolish tears, back ta yo' natizzle spring;

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Yo crazy-ass tributary drops belong ta woe,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Which you, mistaking, offer up ta joy.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">My fuckin homeboy lives, dat Tybalt would have slain;

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">And Tybaltz dead, dat would have slain mah homeboy:

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">All dis is comfort; wherefore weep I then?

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Some word there was, worser than Tybaltz dirtnap,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">That murder'd me: I would forget it fain;

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">But, O, it presses ta mah memory,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Like damned guilty deedz ta sinners' minds:

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">'Tybalt is dead, n' Romeo--banished;'

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">That 'banished,' dat one word 'banished,'

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Hath slain ten thousand Tybalts, n' you can put dat on yo' toast. Tybaltz dirtnap

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Was woe enough, if it had ended there:

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Or, if sour woe delights up in fellowship

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">And needly is ghon be rank'd wit other griefs,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Why follow'd not, when her big-ass booty holla'd 'Tybaltz dead,'

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Thy father, or thy mother, nay, or both,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Which modern lamentations might have moved?

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">But wit a rear-ward followin Tybaltz dirtnap,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">'Romeo is banished,' ta drop a rhyme dat word,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Is father, mother, Tybalt, Romeo, Juliet,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">All slain, all dead as fuckin fried chicken. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. 'Romeo is banished!'

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">There is no end, no limit, measure, bound,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">In dat wordz dirtnap; no lyrics can dat woe sound.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Where is mah father, n' mah mother, nurse?

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Nurse

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Weepin n' beatboxin over Tybaltz corse:

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Will you git all up in them, biatch? I'ma brang you thither.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">JULIET

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Wash they his woundz wit tears: mine shall be spent,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">When theirs is dry, fo' Romeoz banishment.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Take up dem cords: skanky ropes, yo ass is beguiled,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Both you n' I; fo' Romeo is exiled:

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Dude made you fo' a highway ta mah bed;

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">But I, a maid, take a thugged-out dirtnap maiden-widowed.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Come, cords, come, nurse; I be bout ta ta mah wedding-bed;

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">And dirtnap, not Romeo, take mah maidenhead!

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Nurse

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Hie ta yo' chamber: I be bout ta find Romeo

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">To comfort you: I wot well where he is.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Hark ye, yo' Romeo is ghon be here at night:

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">I be bout ta ta him; he is hid at Laurence' cell.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">JULIET

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">O, find him! give dis rang ta mah legit knight,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">And bid his ass come ta take his fuckin last farewell.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Exeunt

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">SCENE Pt III. Friar Laurencez cell.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Enter FRIAR LAURENCE

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">FRIAR LAURENCE

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Romeo, come forth; come forth, thou fearful man:

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Affliction is enamour'd of thy parts,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">And thou art wedded ta calamity.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Enter ROMEO

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">ROMEO

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Father, what tha fuck news, biatch? what tha fuck is tha princez doom?

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">What sorrow craves acquaintizzle at mah hand,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">That I yet know not?

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">FRIAR LAURENCE

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Too familiar

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Is mah dear lil hustla wit such sour company:

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">I brang thee tidingz of tha princez doom.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">ROMEO

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">What less than dooms-dizzle is tha princez doom?

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">FRIAR LAURENCE

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">A gentla judgment vanish'd from his fuckin lips,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Not bodyz dirtnap yo, but bodyz banishment.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">ROMEO

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Ha, banishment son! be merciful, say 'death;'

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">For exile hath mo' terror up in his fuckin look,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Much mo' than dirtnap: do not say 'banishment.'

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">FRIAR LAURENCE

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Hence from Verona art thou banished:

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Be patient, fo' tha ghetto is broad n' wide.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">ROMEO

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">There is no ghetto without Verona walls,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">But purgatory, torture, hell itself.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Hence-banished is banish'd from tha ghetto,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">And ghettoz exile is dirtnap: then banished,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Is dirtnap mis-term'd: callin dirtnap banishment,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Thou cutt'st mah head off wit a golden axe,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">And smilest upon tha stroke dat murdaz mah dirty ass.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">FRIAR LAURENCE

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">O deadly sin! O rude unthankfulness!

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Thy fault our law calls dirtnap; but tha kind prince,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Takin thy part, hath rush'd aside tha law,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">And turn'd dat black word dirtnap ta banishment:

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">This is dear mercy, n' thou seest it not.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">ROMEO

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">'Tis torture, n' not mercy: heaven is here,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Where Juliet lives; n' every last muthafuckin pussaaaaay n' dog

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">And lil mouse, every last muthafuckin unworthy thang,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Live here up in heaven n' may look on her;

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">But Romeo may not: mo' validity,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Mo' honourable state, mo' courtshizzle lives

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">In carrion-flies than Romeo: they mah seize

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">On tha white wonder of dear Julietz hand

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">And loot immortal blessin from her lips,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Dum diddy-dum, here I come biaaatch! Who tha fuck even up in pure n' vestal modesty,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Still blush, as thankin they own kisses sin;

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">But Romeo may not; he is banished:

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Flies may do dis yo, but I from dis must fly:

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">They is free pimps yo, but I be banished.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">And say'st thou yet dat exile aint dirtnap?

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Hadst thou no poison mix'd, no sharp-ground knife,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">No sudden mean of dirtnap, though ne'er so mean,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">But 'banished' ta bust a cap up in me son?--'banished'?

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">O friar, tha damned use dat word up in hell;

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Howlings git all up in it: how tha fuck hast thou tha ass,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Bein a gangbangin' finger-lickin' divine, a pimply confessor,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">A sin-absolver, n' mah playa profess'd,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">To mangle me wit dat word 'banished'?

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">FRIAR LAURENCE

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Thou fond mad dude, hear me but drop a rhyme a word.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">ROMEO

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">O, thou wilt drop a rhyme again n' again n' again of banishment.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">FRIAR LAURENCE

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">I be bout ta give thee armour ta keep off dat word:

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Adversityz dope milk, philosophy,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">To comfort thee, though thou art banished.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">ROMEO

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Yet 'banished', biatch? Hang up philosophy!

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Unless philosophy can cook up a Juliet,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Displant a town, reverse a princez doom,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">It helps not, it prevails not: rap no more.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">FRIAR LAURENCE

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">O, then I peep dat madmen have no ears.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">ROMEO

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">How tha fuck should they, when dat wise pimps have no eyes?

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">FRIAR LAURENCE

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Let me dispute wit thee of thy estate.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">ROMEO

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Thou canst not drop a rhyme of dat thou dost not feel:

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Wert thou as lil' as I, Juliet thy love,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">An minute but married, Tybalt murdered,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Dotin like me n' like me banished,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Then mightst thou speak, then mightst thou tear thy hair,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">And fall upon tha ground, as I do now,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Takin tha measure of a unmade grave.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Knockin within

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">FRIAR LAURENCE

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Arise; one knocks; phat Romeo, hide thyself.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">ROMEO

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Not I; unless tha breath of heartsick groans,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Mist-like, infold mah crazy ass from tha search of eyes.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Knocking

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">FRIAR LAURENCE

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Hark, how tha fuck they knock! Whoz there, biatch? Romeo, arise;

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Thou wilt be taken. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Stay awhile biaaatch! Stand up;

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Knocking

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Run ta mah study. By n' by dawwwwg! Godz will,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">What simplenizz is this muthafucka! I come, I come!

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Knocking

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Dum diddy-dum, here I come biaaatch! Who tha fuck knocks so hard, biatch? whence come yo slick ass, biatch? whatz yo' will?

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Nurse

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">[Within] Let me come in, n' you shall know

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">my errand;

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">I come from Lady Juliet.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">FRIAR LAURENCE

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Welcome, then.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Enter Nurse

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Nurse

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">O holy friar, O, tell me, holy friar,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Where is mah ladyz lord, wherez Romeo?

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">FRIAR LAURENCE

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">There on tha ground, wit his own tears made faded.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Nurse

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">O, he is even up in mah mistress' case,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Just up in her case biaaatch! O woful sympathy!

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Piteous predicament son! Even so lies she,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Blubberin n' weeping, weepin n' blubbering.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Stand up, stand up; stand, n' you be a man:

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">For Julietz sake, fo' her sake, rise n' stand;

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Why should you fall tha fuck into so deep a O?

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">ROMEO

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Nurse!

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Nurse

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Ah sir playa! ah sir playa! Well, dirtnapz tha end of all.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">ROMEO

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Spakest thou of Juliet, biatch? how tha fuck is it wit her?

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Doth she not be thinkin me a oldschool murderer,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Now I have stain'd tha childhood of our joy

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">With blood removed but lil from her own?

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Where is she, biatch? n' how tha fuck doth she, biatch? n' what tha fuck says

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">My fuckin conceal'd lady ta our cancell'd love?

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Nurse

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">O, her big-ass booty say nothing, sir yo, but weeps n' weeps;

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">And now falls on her bed; n' then starts up,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">And Tybalt calls; n' then on Romeo cries,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">And then down falls again.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">ROMEO

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">As if dat name,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Shot from tha deadly level of a gun,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Did cappin' her; as dat namez cursed hand

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Murder'd her kinsman. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. O, tell me, friar, tell me,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">In what tha fuck vile part of dis anatomy

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Doth mah name lodge, biatch? tell me, dat I may sack

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Da hateful mansion.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Drawin his sword

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">FRIAR LAURENCE

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Hold thy desperate hand:

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Art thou a man, biatch? thy form cries up thou art:

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Thy tears is biatchish; thy wild acts denote

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Da unreasonable fury of a funky-ass beast:

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Unseemly biatch up in a seemin man!

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Or ill-beseemin beast up in seemin both!

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Thou hast amazed me: by mah holy order,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">I thought thy disposizzle mo' betta temper'd.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Hast thou slain Tybalt, biatch? wilt thou slay thyself?

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">And stay thy lady too dat lives up in thee,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">By bustin damned don't give a fuck bout upon thyself?

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Why rail'st thou on thy birth, tha heaven, n' earth?

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Since birth, n' heaven, n' earth, all three do meet

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">In thee at once; which thou at once wouldst lose.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Fie, fie, thou shamest thy shape, thy love, thy wit;

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Which, like a usurer, abound'st up in all,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">And usest none up in dat legit use indeed

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Which should bedeck thy shape, thy love, thy wit:

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Thy noble shape is but a gangbangin' form of wax,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Digressin from tha valour of a man;

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Thy dear ludd sworn but hollow perjury,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Bustin' dat ludd which thou hast vow'd ta cherish;

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Thy wit, dat ornament ta shape n' love,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Misshapen up in tha conduct of dem both,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Like powder up in a skitless soldierz flask,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Is set afire by thine own ignorance,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">And thou dismember'd wit thine own defence.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">What, rouse thee, man! thy Juliet is kickin it,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">For whose dear sake thou wast but lately dead;

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">There art thou happy: Tybalt would bust a cap up in thee,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">But thou slew'st Tybalt; there be thou aiiight too:

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Da law dat threaten'd dirtnap becomes thy playa

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">And turns it ta exile; there art thou happy:

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">A ounce ta tha bounce of blessings lights up upon thy back;

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Happinizz courts thee up in her dopest array;

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">But, like a misbehaved n' sullen wench,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Thou pout'st upon thy fortune n' thy love:

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Take heed, take heed, fo' such take a thugged-out dirtnap miserable.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Go, git thee ta thy love, as was decreed,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Ascend her chamber, hence n' comfort her:

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">But look thou stay not till tha peep be set,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">For then thou canst not pass ta Mantua;

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Where thou shalt live, till we can find a time

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">To blaze yo' marriage, reconcile yo' playas,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Beg pardon of tha prince, n' call thee back

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">With twenty hundred thousand times mo' joy

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Than thou went'st forth up in lamentation.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Go before, nurse: commend mah crazy ass ta thy lady;

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">And bid her hasten all tha doggy den ta bed,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Which heavy sorrow make dem apt unto:

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Romeo is coming.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Nurse

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">O Lord, I could have stay'd here all tha night

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">To hear phat counsel: O, what tha fuck peepin' is!

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">My fuckin lord, I be bout ta tell mah lady yo big-ass booty is ghon come.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">ROMEO

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Do so, n' bid mah dope prepare ta chide.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Nurse

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Here, sir, a rang da hoe bid mah crazy ass give you, sir:

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Hie you, make haste, fo' it grows straight-up late.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Exit

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">ROMEO

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">How tha fuck well mah comfort is revived by this!

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">FRIAR LAURENCE

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Go hence; phat night; n' here standz all yo' state:

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Either be gone before tha peep be set,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Or by tha break of dizzle disguised from hence:

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Sojourn up in Mantua; I be bout ta smoke up yo' dude,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">And da perved-out muthafucka shall signify from time ta time

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Every phat hap ta you dat chances here:

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Give me thy hand; 'tis late: farewell; phat night.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">ROMEO

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">But dat a joy past joy calls up on me,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">It was a grief, so brief ta part wit thee: Farewell.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Exeunt

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">SCENE IV fo' realz. A room up in Capuletz house.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Enter CAPULET, LADY CAPULET, n' PARIS

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">CAPULET

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Things have fall'n out, sir, so unluckily,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">That our crazy asses have had no time ta move our daughter:

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Look you, she loved her kinsman Tybalt dearly,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">And so did I:--Well, we was born ta take a thugged-out dirt nap.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">'Tis straight-up late, she'll not come down to-night:

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">I promise you yo, but fo' yo' company,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">I would done been a-bed a minute ago.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">PARIS

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">These timez of woe afford no time ta woo.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Madam, phat night: commend mah crazy ass ta yo' daughter.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">LADY CAPULET

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">I will, n' know her mind early to-morrow;

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">To-night her ass is mew'd up ta her heaviness.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">CAPULET

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Sir Paris, I'ma cook up a thugged-out desperate tender

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Of mah childz love: I be thinkin dat biiiiatch is ghon be ruled

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">In all respects by me; nay, more, I doubt it not.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Wife, go you ta her ere you git all up in bed;

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Acquaint her here of mah lil hustla Paris' love;

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">And bid her, mark you me, on Wednesdizzle next--

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">But, soft son! what tha fuck dizzle is this?

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">PARIS

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Monday, mah lord,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">CAPULET

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Mondizzle dawwwwg! ha, ha! Well, Wednesdizzle is too soon,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">O' Thursdizzle let it be: o' Thursday, tell her,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Bitch shall be gangbangin dis noble earl.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Will you be ready, biatch? do you like dis haste?

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">We bout ta keep no pimped out ado,--a playa or two;

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">For, hark you, Tybalt bein slain so late,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">It may be thought our crazy asses held his ass carelessly,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Bein our kinsman, if we revel much:

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Therefore we'll have some half a thugged-out dozen playas,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">And there a end yo, but it ain't no stoppin cause I be still poppin'. But what tha fuck say you ta Thursday?

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">PARIS

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">My fuckin lord, I would dat Thursdizzle was to-morrow.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">CAPULET

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Well git you gone: o' Thursdizzle be it, then.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Go you ta Juliet ere you git all up in bed,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Prepare her, hoe, against dis wedding-day.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Farewell, mah lord. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Light ta mah chamber, ho!

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Afore me biaaatch! it is so straight-up hella late,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">That we may call it early by n' by.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Dope night.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Exeunt

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">SCENE V. Capuletz orchard.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Enter ROMEO n' JULIET above, all up in tha window

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">JULIET

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Wilt thou be gone, biatch? it aint yet near day:

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Dat shiznit was tha nightingale, n' not tha lark,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">That pierced tha fearful hollow of thine ear;

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Nightly her big-ass booty sings on yon pomegranate-tree:

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Believe me, love, dat shiznit was tha nightingale.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">ROMEO

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Dat shiznit was tha lark, tha herald of tha morn,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">No nightingale: look, love, what tha fuck envious streaks

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Do lace tha severin cloudz up in yonder eastside:

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Nightz candlez is burnt out, n' jocund day

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Standz tiptoe on tha misty mountain tops.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">I must be gone n' live, or stay n' take a thugged-out dirt nap.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">JULIET

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Yon light aint day-light, I know it, I:

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">It be some meteor dat tha sun exhales,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">To be ta thee dis night a torch-bearer,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">And light thee on thy way ta Mantua:

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Therefore stay yet; thou need'st not ta be gone.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">ROMEO

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Let me be ta'en, let me be put ta dirtnap;

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">I be content, so thou wilt have it so.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">I be bout ta say yon grey aint tha morningz eye,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">'Tis but tha pale reflex of Cynthiaz brow;

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Nor dat aint tha lark, whose notes do beat

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Da vaulty heaven so high above our heads:

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">I have mo' care ta stay than will ta go:

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Come, dirtnap, n' welcome biaaatch! Juliet wills it so.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">How tha fuck is't, mah soul, biatch? letz talk; it aint day.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">JULIET

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">It is, it is: hie hence, be gone, away!

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">It be tha lark dat sings so outta tune,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Strainin harsh discordz n' unpleasin sharps.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Some say tha lark make dope division;

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">This doth not so, fo' her dope ass divideth us:

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Some say tha lark n' loathed toad chizzle eyes,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">O, now I would they had chizzled voices too!

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Since arm from arm dat voice doth our asses affray,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Huntin thee hence wit hunt's-up ta tha day,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">O, now be gone; mo' light n' light it grows.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">ROMEO

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Mo' light n' light; mo' dark n' dark our woes!

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Enter Nurse, ta tha chamber

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Nurse

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Madam!

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">JULIET

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Nurse?

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Nurse

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Yo crazy-ass lady mutha is comin ta yo' chamber:

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Da dizzle is broke; be wary, look about.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Exit

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">JULIET

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Then, window, let dizzle in, n' let game out.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">ROMEO

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Farewell, farewell! one kiss, n' I be bout ta descend.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Dude goeth down

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">JULIET

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Art thou gone so, biatch? love, lord, ay, homeboy, playa!

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">I must hear from thee every last muthafuckin dizzle up in tha hour,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">For up in a minute there be nuff days:

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">O, by dis count I shall be much up in years

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Ere I again n' again n' again behold mah Romeo!

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">ROMEO

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Farewell!

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">I'ma omit no opportunity

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">That may convey mah greetings, love, ta thee.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">JULIET

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">O think'st thou we shall eva hook up again?

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">ROMEO

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">I doubt it not; n' all these woes shall serve

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">For dope discourses up in our time ta come.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">JULIET

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">O God, I have a ill-divinin soul!

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Methinks I peep thee, now thou art below,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">As one dead up in tha bottom of a tomb:

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Either mah eyesight fails, or thou look'st pale.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">ROMEO

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">And trust me, love, up in mah eye so do you:

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Dry sorrow dranks our blood. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! I be fly as a gangbangin' falcon, soarin all up in tha sky dawwwwg! Adieu, adieu!

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Exit

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">JULIET

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">O fortune, fortune biaaatch! all pimps call thee fickle:

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">If thou art fickle, what tha fuck dost thou wit his muthafuckin ass.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">That is renown'd fo' faith, biatch? Be fickle, fortune;

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">For then, I hope, thou wilt not keep his ass long,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">But bust his ass back.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">LADY CAPULET

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">[Within] Ho, daughter playa! is you up?

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">JULIET

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Dum diddy-dum, here I come biaaatch! Who tha fuck is't dat calls, biatch? is it mah lady mother?

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Is she not down so late, or up so early?

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">What unaccustom'd cause procures her hither?

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Enter LADY CAPULET

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">LADY CAPULET

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Why, how tha fuck now, Juliet!

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">JULIET

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Madam, I aint well.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">LADY CAPULET

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Evermore weepin fo' yo' cousinz dirtnap?

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">What, wilt thou wash his ass from his wild lil' freakadelic grave wit tears?

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">An if thou couldst, thou couldst not make his ass live;

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Therefore, have done: some grief shows much of love;

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">But much of grief shows still some want of wit.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">JULIET

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Yet let me weep fo' such a gangbangin' feelin loss.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">LADY CAPULET

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">So shall you feel tha loss yo, but not tha playa

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Which you weep for.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">JULIET

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Feelin so tha loss,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Cannot chizzle but eva weep tha playa.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">LADY CAPULET

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Well, girl, thou weep'st not so much fo' his fuckin lil' dirtnap,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">As dat tha villain lives which slaughter'd his muthafuckin ass.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">JULIET

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">What villain madam?

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">LADY CAPULET

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">That same villain, Romeo.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">JULIET

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">[Aside] Muthafucka n' his thugged-out lil' punk-ass be nuff milez asunder.--

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Dogg Pardon him! I do, wit all mah heart;

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">And yet no playa like da ruffneck doth grieve mah ass.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">LADY CAPULET

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">That is, cuz tha traitor murderer lives.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">JULIET

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Ay, madam, from tha reach of these mah hands:

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Would none but I might venge mah cousinz dirtnap!

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">LADY CAPULET

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Us thugs gonna git vengeizzle fo' it, fear thou not:

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Then weep no mo' n' mo' n' mo'. I be bout ta bust ta one up in Mantua,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Where dat same banish'd runagate doth live,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Shall give his ass such a unaccustom'd dram,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">That da perved-out muthafucka shall soon keep Tybalt company:

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">And then, I hope, thou wilt be satisfied.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">JULIET

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Indeed, I never shall be satisfied

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">With Romeo, till I behold him--dead--

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Is mah skanky ass fo' a kinsman vex'd.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Madam, if you could smoke up but a man

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">To bear a poison, I would temper it;

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">That Romeo should, upon receipt thereof,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Soon chill up in on tha fuckin' down-low. O, how tha fuck mah ass abhors

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">To hear his ass named, n' cannot come ta his muthafuckin ass.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">To wreak tha ludd I bore mah cousin

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Upon his body dat slaughter'd him!

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">LADY CAPULET

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Find thou tha means, n' I be bout ta find such a man.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">But now I be bout ta tell thee joyful tidings, girl.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">JULIET

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">And joy comes well up in such a needy time:

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">What is they, I beseech yo' ladyship?

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">LADY CAPULET

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Well, well, thou hast a cold-ass lil careful father, child;

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">One who, ta put thee from thy heaviness,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Hath sorted up a sudden dizzle of joy,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">That thou expect'st not nor I look'd not for.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">JULIET

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Madam, up in aiiight time, what tha fuck dizzle is that?

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">LADY CAPULET

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Marry, mah child, early next Thursdizzle morn,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Da gallant, lil' n' noble gentleman,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Da County Paris, at Saint Peterz Church,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Shall happily make thee there a joyful bride.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">JULIET

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Now, by Saint Peterz Church n' Peter too,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Dude shall not make me there a joyful bride.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">I wonder at dis haste; dat I must wed

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Ere he, dat should be homeboy, comes ta woo.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">I pray you, tell mah lord n' father, madam,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">I'ma not marry yet; and, when I do, I swear,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">It shall be Romeo, whom you know I hate,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Rather than Paris. These is shizzle indeed!

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">LADY CAPULET

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Here comes yo' father; tell his ass so yo ass,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">And peep how tha fuck da thug will take it at yo' hands.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Enter CAPULET n' Nurse

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">CAPULET

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">When tha sun sets, tha air doth drizzle dew;

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">But fo' tha sunset of mah brotherz son

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">It rains downright.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">How tha fuck now! a cold-ass lil conduit, girl, biatch? what, still up in tears?

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Evermore showering, biatch? In one lil body

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Thou counterfeit'st a funky-ass bark, a sea, a wind;

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">For still thy eyes, which I may call tha sea,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Do ebb n' flow wit tears; tha bark thy body is,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Sailin up in dis salt flood; tha winds, thy sighs;

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Who, ragin wit thy tears, n' they wit them,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Without a sudden calm, will overset

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Thy tempest-tossed body yo. How tha fuck now, hoe!

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Has you done deliver'd ta her our decree?

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">LADY CAPULET

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Ay, sir; but dat biiiiatch will none, she gives you props.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">I would tha fool was gangbangin her grave!

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">CAPULET

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Soft son! take me wit you, take me wit you, hoe.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">How! will she none, biatch? doth she not give our asses props?

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Is she not proud, biatch? doth she not count her blest,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Unworthy as she is, dat our crazy asses have wrought

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">So worthy a gentleman ta be her bridegroom?

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">JULIET

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Not proud, you have; but thankful, dat you have:

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Proud can I never be of what tha fuck I hate;

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">But thankful even fo' hate, dat is meant love.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">CAPULET

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">How tha fuck now, how tha fuck now, chop-logic! What tha fuck iz this?

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">'Proud,' n' 'I fuck you,' n' 'I fuck you not;'

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">And yet 'not proud,' mistress minion, you,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Thank me no thankings, nor, proud as a muthafucka me no prouds,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">But fettle yo' fine joints 'gainst Thursdizzle next,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">To go wit Paris ta Saint Peterz Church,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Or I'ma drag thee on a hurdle thither.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Out, you green-sicknizz carrion! out, you baggage!

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Yo ass tallow-face!

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">LADY CAPULET

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Fie, fie biaaatch! what, is you mad?

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">JULIET

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Dope father, I beseech you on mah knees,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Hear me wit patience but ta drop a rhyme a word.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">CAPULET

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Hang thee, lil' baggage biaaatch! disobedient wretch!

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">I tell thee what: git thee ta church o' Thursday,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Or never afta look me up in tha face:

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Speak not, reply not, do not answer me;

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">My fuckin fingers itch. Wife, we scarce thought our asses blest

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">That Dogg had lent our asses but dis only child;

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">But now I peep dis one is one too much,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">And dat our crazy asses gotz a cold-ass lil curse up in havin her:

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Out on her, hilding!

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Nurse

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Dogg up in heaven bless her!

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Yo ass is ta blame, mah lord, ta rate her so.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">CAPULET

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">And why, mah lady wisdom, biatch? git freaky wit yo' tongue,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Dope prudence; smatter wit yo' ghetto hypes, go.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Nurse

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">I drop a rhyme no treason.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">CAPULET

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">O, Dogg ye god-den.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Nurse

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">May not one speak?

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">CAPULET

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Peace, you mumblin fool!

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Utter yo' gravitizzle o'er a ghetto hypez bowl;

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">For here we need it not.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">LADY CAPULET

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Yo ass is too hot.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">CAPULET

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Godz bread hommie! it make me mad:

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Day, night, hour, tide, time, work, play,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Alone, up in company, still mah care hath been

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">To have her match'd: n' havin now provided

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">A gentleman of noble parentage,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Of fair demesnes, youthful, n' nobly train'd,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Stuff'd, as they say, wit honourable parts,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Proportion'd as onez thought would wish a man;

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">And then ta git a wretched pulin fool,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">A whinin mammet, up in her fortunez tender,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">To answer 'I be bout ta not wed; I cannot love,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">I be too young; I pray you, pardon mah dirty ass.'

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">But, as yo big-ass booty is ghon not wed, I be bout ta pardon you:

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Graze where yo big-ass booty is ghon you shall not doggy den wit me:

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Look to't, be thinkin on't, I do not use ta jest.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Thursdizzle is near; lay hand on ass, advise:

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">An you be mine, I be bout ta hit you wit ta mah playa;

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">And you be not, hang, beg, starve, take a thugged-out dirtnap in

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">the streets,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">For, by mah soul, I be bout ta ne'er acknowledge thee,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Nor what tha fuck is mine shall never do thee good:

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Trust to't, bethink you; I be bout ta not be forsworn.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Exit

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">JULIET

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Is there no pitizzle chillin up in tha clouds,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">That sees tha fuck into tha bottom of mah grief?

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">O, dope mah mother, cast me not away!

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Delay dis marriage fo' a month, a week;

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Or, if you do not, make tha bridal bed

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">In dat dim monument where Tybalt lies.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">LADY CAPULET

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Talk not ta me, fo' I be bout ta not drop a rhyme a word:

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Do as thou wilt, fo' I have done wit thee.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Exit

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">JULIET

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">O God!--O nurse, how tha fuck shall dis be prevented?

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">My fuckin homeboy is on earth, mah faith up in heaven;

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">How tha fuck shall dat faith return again n' again n' again ta earth,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Unless dat homeboy bust it me from heaven

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">By leavin earth, biatch? comfort me, counsel mah dirty ass.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Alack, alack, dat heaven should practise stratagems

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Upon so soft a subject as mah dirty ass!

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">What say'st thou, biatch? hast thou not a word of joy?

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Some comfort, nurse.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Nurse

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Faith, here it is.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Romeo is banish'd; n' all tha ghetto ta nothing,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">That da ruffneck dares ne'er come back ta challenge you;

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Or, if da ruffneck do, it needz must be by stealth.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Then, since tha case so standz as now it doth,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">I be thinkin it dopest you hooked up wit tha county.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">O, he a ghettofab gentleman!

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Romeoz a gangbangin' finger-lickin' dishclout ta him: a eagle, madam,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Hath not so green, so quick, so fair a eye

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">As Paris hath. Beshrew mah straight-up ass,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">I be thinkin yo ass be aiiight up in dis second match,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">For it excels yo' first: or if it did not,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Yo crazy-ass first is dead; or 'twere as phat da thug were,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">As livin here n' you no use of his muthafuckin ass.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">JULIET

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Speakest thou from thy heart?

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Nurse

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">And from mah ass too;

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Or else beshrew dem both.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">JULIET

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Amen!

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Nurse

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">What?

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">JULIET

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Well, thou hast comforted mah crazy ass marvellous much.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Go in: n' tell mah lady I be gone,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Havin displeased mah father, ta Laurence' cell,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">To make confession n' ta be absolved.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Nurse

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Marry, I will; n' dis is wisely done.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Exit

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">JULIET

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Ancient damnation! O most wicked fiend!

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Is it mo' sin ta wish me thus forsworn,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Or ta dispraise mah lord wit dat same tongue

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Which dat freaky freaky biatch hath praised his ass wit above compare

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">So nuff thousand times, biatch? Go, counsellor;

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Thou n' mah bosom henceforth shall be twain.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">I be bout ta ta tha friar, ta know his bangin remedy:

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">If all else fail, mah dirty ass have juice ta take a thugged-out dirt nap.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Exit

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">ACT IV

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">SCENE I. Friar Laurencez cell.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Enter FRIAR LAURENCE n' PARIS

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">FRIAR LAURENCE

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">On Thursday, sir, biatch? tha time is straight-up short.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">PARIS

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">My fuckin daddy Capulet gonna git it so;

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">And I aint a god damn thang slow ta slack his haste.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">FRIAR LAURENCE

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Yo ass say you do not know tha ladyz mind:

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Uneven is tha course, I wanna bust a nut on it not.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">PARIS

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Immoderately dat biiiiatch weeps fo' Tybaltz dirtnap,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">And therefore have I lil talk'd of love;

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">For Venus smilez not up in a doggy den of tears.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Now, sir, her daddy counts it dangerous

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">That her dope ass doth give her sorrow so much sway,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">And up in his wisdom hastes our marriage,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">To stop tha inundation of her tears;

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Which, too much minded by her muthafuckin ass alone,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">May be put from her by society:

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Now do you know tha reason of dis haste.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">FRIAR LAURENCE

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">[Aside] I would I knew not why it should be slow'd.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Look, sir, here comes tha lady towardz mah cell.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Enter JULIET

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">PARIS

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Happily met, mah lady n' mah hoe!

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">JULIET

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">That may be, sir, when I may be a hoe.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">PARIS

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">That may be must be, love, on Thursdizzle next.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">JULIET

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">What must be shall be.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">FRIAR LAURENCE

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Thatz a cold-ass lil certain text.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">PARIS

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Come you ta make confession ta dis father?

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">JULIET

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">To answer that, I should confess ta yo thugged-out ass.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">PARIS

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Do not deny ta his ass dat you ludd mah dirty ass.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">JULIET

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">I'ma confess ta you dat I gots a straight-up boner fo' his muthafuckin ass.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">PARIS

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">So will ye, I be sure, dat you ludd mah dirty ass.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">JULIET

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">If I do so, it is ghon be of mo' price,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Bein was rappin behind yo' back, than ta yo' face.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">PARIS

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Skanky soul, thy grill is much played wit tears.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">JULIET

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Da tears have gots lil' small-ass victory by that;

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">For dat shiznit was wack enough before they spite.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">PARIS

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Thou wrong'st it, mo' than tears, wit dat report.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">JULIET

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">That is no slander, sir, which be a truth;

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">And what tha fuck I spake, I spake it ta mah face.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">PARIS

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Thy grill is mine, n' thou hast slander'd dat shit.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">JULIET

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">It may be so, fo' it aint mine own.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Is you at leisure, holy father, now;

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Or shall I come ta you at evenin mass?

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">FRIAR LAURENCE

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">My fuckin leisure serves me, pensive daughter, now, nahmeean?

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">My fuckin lord, we must entreat tha time ridin' solo.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">PARIS

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Dogg shield I should disturb devotion!

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Juliet, on Thursdizzle early will I rouse ye:

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Till then, adieu; n' keep dis holy kiss.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Exit

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">JULIET

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">O shut tha door playa! n' when thou hast done so,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Come weep wit me; past hope, past cure, past help!

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">FRIAR LAURENCE

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Ah, Juliet, I already know thy grief;

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">It strains me past tha compass of mah wits:

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">I hear thou must, n' not a god damn thang may prorogue it,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">On Thursdizzle next be gangbangin dis county.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">JULIET

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Tell me not, friar, dat thou hear'st of this,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Unless thou tell me how tha fuck I may prevent it:

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">If, up in thy wisdom, thou canst give no help,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Do thou but call mah resolution wise,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">And wit dis knife I be bout ta help it presently.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Dogg join'd mah ass n' Romeo's, thou our hands;

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">And ere dis hand, by thee ta Romeo seal'd,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Shall be tha label ta another deed,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Or mah legit ass wit treacherous revolt

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Turn ta another, dis shall slay dem both:

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Therefore, outta thy long-experienced time,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Give me some present counsel, or, behold,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">'Twixt mah extremes n' mah crazy ass dis bloody knife

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Shall play tha umpire, arbitratin that

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Which tha commission of thy muthafuckin years n' art

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Could ta no issue of legit honour brang.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Be not so long ta speak; I long ta die,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">If what tha fuck thou speak'st drop a rhyme not of remedy.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">FRIAR LAURENCE

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Hold, daughter: I do spy a kind of hope,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Which craves as desperate a execution.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">As dat is desperate which we would prevent.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">If, rather than ta fuck County Paris,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Thou hast tha strength of will ta slay thyself,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Then is it likely thou wilt undertake

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">A thang like dirtnap ta chide away dis shame,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">That copest wit dirtnap his dirty ass ta scape from it:

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">And, if thou darest, I be bout ta give thee remedy.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">JULIET

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">O, bid mah crazy ass leap, rather than marry Paris,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">From off tha battlementz of yonder tower;

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Or strutt up in thievish ways; or bid mah crazy ass lurk

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Where serpents are; chain me wit roarin bears;

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Or shut me nightly up in a cold-ass lil charnel-house,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">O'er-cover'd like wit dead menz rattlin bones,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">With reeky shanks n' yellow chapless skulls;

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Or bid mah crazy ass go tha fuck into a new-made grave

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">And hide me wit a thugged-out dead playa up in his shroud;

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Things that, ta hear dem holla'd at, have made me tremble;

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">And I'ma do it without fear or doubt,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">To live a unstain'd hoe ta mah dope love.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">FRIAR LAURENCE

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Hold, then; bounce back ta tha doggy den, be merry, give consent

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">To marry Paris: Wednesdizzle is to-morrow:

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">To-morrow night look dat thou lie alone;

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Let not thy nurse lie wit thee up in thy chamber:

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Take thou dis vial, bein then up in bed,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">And dis distilled liquor drank thou off;

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">When presently all up in all thy veins shall run

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">A cold n' drowsy humour, fo' no pulse

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Shall keep his natizzle progress yo, but surcease:

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">No warmth, no breath, shall reprazent thou livest;

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Da roses up in thy lips n' cheeks shall fade

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">To paly ashes, thy eyes' windows fall,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Like dirtnap, when da perved-out muthafucka shuts up tha dizzle of game;

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Each part, deprived of supple posse,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Shall, stiff n' stark n' cold, step tha fuck up like dirtnap:

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">And up in dis borrow'd likenizz of shrunk dirtnap

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Thou shalt continue two n' forty hours,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">And then awake as from a pleasant chill.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Now, when tha bridegroom up in tha mornin comes

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">To rouse thee from thy bed, there art thou dead:

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Then, as tha manner of our ghetto is,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">In thy dopest robes uncover'd on tha bier

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Thou shalt be borne ta dat same ancient vault

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Where all tha kindred of tha Capulets lie.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">In tha mean time, against thou shalt awake,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Shall Romeo by mah lettas know our drift,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">And hither shall his schmoooove ass come: n' he n' I

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Will peep thy waking, n' dat straight-up night

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Shall Romeo bear thee hence ta Mantua.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">And dis shall free thee from dis present shame;

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">If no inconstant toy, nor biatchish fear,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Abate thy valour up in tha actin dat shit.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">JULIET

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Give me, give me biaaatch! O, tell not me of fear!

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">FRIAR LAURENCE

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Hold; git you gone, be phat n' prosperous

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">In dis resolve: I be bout ta bust a gangbangin' friar wit speed

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">To Mantua, wit mah lettas ta thy lord.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">JULIET

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Ludd give me strength! n' strength shall help afford.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Farewell, dear father!

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Exeunt

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">SCENE Pt II yo. Hall up in Capuletz house.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Enter CAPULET, LADY CAPULET, Nurse, n' two Servingmen

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">CAPULET

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">So nuff guests invite as here is writ.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Exit First Servant

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Sirrah, go hire me twenty cunnin cooks.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Second Servant

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Yo ass shall have none ill, sir; fo' I be bout ta try if they

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">can lick they fingers.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">CAPULET

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">How tha fuck canst thou try dem so?

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Second Servant

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Marry, sir, 'tis a ill cook dat cannot lick his

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">own fingers: therefore tha pimpin' muthafucka dat cannot lick his

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">fingers goes not wit mah dirty ass.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">CAPULET

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Go, be gone.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Exit Second Servant

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">We shall be much unfurnished fo' dis time.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">What, is mah daughter gone ta Friar Laurence?

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Nurse

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Ay, forsooth.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">CAPULET

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Well, he may chizzle ta do some phat on her:

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">A peevish self-will'd harlotry it is.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Nurse

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">See where dat thugged-out biiiatch be reppin shrift wit merry look.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Enter JULIET

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">CAPULET

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">How tha fuck now, mah headstrong! where have you been gadding?

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">JULIET

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Where I have learn'd mah crazy ass ta repent tha sin

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Of disobedient opposition

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">To you n' yo' behests, n' be enjoin'd

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">By holy Laurence ta fall prostrate here,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">And beg yo' pardon: pardon, I beseech you, nahmean biiiatch?

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Henceforward I be eva ruled by yo thugged-out ass.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">CAPULET

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Send fo' tha county; go tell his ass of this:

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">I be bout ta have dis knot knit up to-morrow morning.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">JULIET

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">I kicked it wit tha youthful lord at Laurence' cell;

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">And gave his ass what tha fuck becomed ludd I might,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Not step o'er tha boundz of modesty.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">CAPULET

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Why, I be glad on't; dis is well: stand up:

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">This be as't should be. Let me peep tha county;

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Ay, marry, go, I say, n' fetch his ass hither.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Now, afore Dogg hommie! dis reverend holy friar,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Our whole hood is much bound ta his muthafuckin ass.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">JULIET

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Nurse, will you go wit me tha fuck into mah closet,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">To help me sort such needful ornaments

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">As you be thinkin fit ta furnish me to-morrow?

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">LADY CAPULET

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Fuck dat shit, not till Thursday; there is time enough.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">CAPULET

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Go, nurse, go wit her: we'll ta church to-morrow.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Exeunt JULIET n' Nurse

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">LADY CAPULET

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">We shall be short up in our provision:

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">'Tis now near night.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">CAPULET

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Tush, I'ma stir about,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">And all thangs shall be well, I warrant thee, hoe:

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Go thou ta Juliet, help ta deck up her;

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">I be bout ta not ta bed to-night; let me alone;

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">I be bout ta play tha housewife fo' dis once. What, ho!

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">They is all forth. Well, I'ma strutt mah dirty ass

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">To County Paris, ta prepare his ass up

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Against to-morrow: mah ass is wondrous light,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Since dis same wayward hoe is so reclaim'd.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Exeunt

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">SCENE Pt III. Julietz chamber.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Enter JULIET n' Nurse

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">JULIET

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Ay, dem attires is best: but, gentle nurse,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">I pray thee, leave me ta mah self to-night,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">For I have need of nuff orisons

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">To move tha heavens ta smile upon mah state,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Which, well thou know'st, is cross, n' full of sin.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Enter LADY CAPULET

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">LADY CAPULET

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">What, is you busy, ho, biatch? need you mah help?

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">JULIET

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Fuck dat shit, madam; our crazy asses have cull'd such necessaries

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">As is behoveful fo' our state to-morrow:

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">So please you, let me now be left alone,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">And let tha nurse dis night sit up wit you;

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">For, I be sure, you have yo' handz full all,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">In dis so sudden bidnizz.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">LADY CAPULET

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Dope night:

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Git thee ta bed, n' rest; fo' thou hast need.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Exeunt LADY CAPULET n' Nurse

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">JULIET

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Farewell! Dogg knows when we shall hook up again.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">I gots a gangbangin' faint cold fear thrills all up in mah veins,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">That almost freezes up tha heat of game:

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">I be bout ta call dem back again n' again n' again ta comfort me:

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Nurse biaaatch! What should her dope ass do here?

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">My fuckin dismal scene I needz must act ridin' solo.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Come, vial.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">What if dis mixture do not work at all?

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Shall I be hooked up then to-morrow morning?

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Fuck dat shit, no: dis shall forbid it: lie thou there.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Layin down her dagger

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">What if it be a poison, which tha friar

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Subtly hath minister'd ta have me dead,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Lest up in dis marriage da perved-out muthafucka should be dishonour'd,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Because he hooked up me before ta Romeo?

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">I fear it is: n' yet, methinks, it should not,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">For dat schmoooove muthafucka hath still been tried a holy man.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">How tha fuck if, when I be laid tha fuck into tha tomb,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">I wake before tha time dat Romeo

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Come ta redeem me son, biatch? there be a a gangbangin' fearful point!

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Shall I not, then, be stifled up in tha vault,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">To whose foul grill no healthsome air breathes in,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">And there take a thugged-out dirtnap strangled ere mah Romeo comes?

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Or, if I live, is it not straight-up like,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Da wack conceit of dirtnap n' night,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Together wit tha terror of tha place,--

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">As up in a vault, a ancient receptacle,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Where, fo' these nuff hundred years, tha bones

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Of all mah buried ancestors is packed:

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Where bloody Tybalt, yet but chronic up in earth,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Lies festerin up in his shroud; where, as they say,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">At some minutes up in tha night spirits resort;--

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Alack, alack, is it not like dat I,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">So early waking, what tha fuck wit loathsome smells,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">And shrieks like mandrakes' torn outta tha earth,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">That livin mortals, hearin them, run mad:--

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">O, if I wake, shall I not be distraught,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Environed wit all these hideous fears?

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">And madly fuck wit mah forefatherz joints?

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">And pluck tha mangled Tybalt from his shroud?

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">And, up in dis rage, wit some pimped out kinsmanz bone,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">As wit a cold-ass lil club, dash up mah desperate domes?

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">O, look! methinks I peep mah cousinz pimp

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Seekin up Romeo, dat did spit his body

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Upon a rapierz point: stay, Tybalt, stay!

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Romeo, I come biaaatch! dis do I drank ta thee.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Bitch falls upon her bed, within tha curtains

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">SCENE IV yo. Hall up in Capuletz house.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Enter LADY CAPULET n' Nurse

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">LADY CAPULET

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Hold, take these keys, n' fetch mo' spices, nurse.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Nurse

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">They call fo' dates n' quinces up in tha pastry.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Enter CAPULET

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">CAPULET

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Come, stir, stir, stir playa! tha second ding-a-ling hath crow'd,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Da curfew-bell hath rung, 'tis three o'clock:

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Look ta tha baked meats, phat Angelica:

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Spare not fo' tha cost.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Nurse

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Go, you cot-quean, go,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Git you ta bed; faith, You'll be sick to-morrow

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">For dis nightz watching.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">CAPULET

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Fuck dat shit, not a whit: what tha fuck son! I have watch'd ere now

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">All night fo' lesser cause, n' ne'er been sick.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">LADY CAPULET

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Ay, you done been a mouse-hunt up in yo' time;

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">But I'ma peep you from such watchin now, nahmeean?

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Exeunt LADY CAPULET n' Nurse

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">CAPULET

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">A jealous hood, a jealous hood!

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Enter three or four Servingmen, wit spits, logs, n' baskets

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Now, fellow,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Whatz there?

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">First Servant

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Things fo' tha cook, sir; but I know not what.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">CAPULET

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Make haste, make haste.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Exit First Servant

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Sirrah, fetch drier logs:

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Call Peter, da thug will show thee where they are.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Second Servant

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">I gots a head, sir, dat will smoke up logs,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">And never shiznit Peter fo' tha matter.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Exit

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">CAPULET

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Mass, n' well holla'd; a merry whoreson, ha!

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Thou shalt be logger-head. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Dope faith, 'tis day:

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Da county is ghon be here wit noize straight,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">For so da perved-out muthafucka holla'd da thug would: I hear his ass near.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Music within

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Nurse biaaatch! Wife biaaatch! What, ho! What, nurse, I say!

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Re-enter Nurse

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Go waken Juliet, go n' trim her up;

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">I be bout ta go n' chat wit Paris: hie, make haste,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Make haste; tha bridegroom he is come already:

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Make haste, I say.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Exeunt

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">SCENE V. Julietz chamber.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Enter Nurse

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Nurse

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Mistress muthafucka! what, mistress muthafucka! Juliet son! fast, I warrant her, she:

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Why, lamb! why, lady dawwwwg! fie, you slug-a-bed!

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Why, love, I say dawwwwg! madam! dope-heart son! why, bride!

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">What, not a word, biatch? you take yo' pennyworths now;

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Sleep fo' a week; fo' tha next night, I warrant,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Da County Paris hath set up his bangin rest,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">That you shall rest but lil. Dogg forgive me,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Marry, n' amen, how tha fuck sound is she asleep!

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">I must needz wake her n' shit. Madam, madam, madam!

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Ay, let tha county take you up in yo' bed;

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Dude bout ta fright you up, i' faith. Will it not be?

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Undraws tha curtains

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">What, dress'd hommie! n' up in yo' clothes muthafucka! n' down again!

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">I must needz wake you; Lady dawwwwg! lady dawwwwg! lady!

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Alas, alas muthafucka! Help, help! mah ladyz dead!

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">O, well-a-day, dat eva I was born!

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Some aqua vitae, ho! My fuckin lord hommie! mah lady!

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Enter LADY CAPULET

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">LADY CAPULET

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">What noise is here?

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Nurse

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">O lamentable day!

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">LADY CAPULET

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">What tha fuck iz tha matter?

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Nurse

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Look, look! O heavy day!

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">LADY CAPULET

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">O me, O me biaaatch! My fuckin child, mah only game,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Revive, look up, or I'ma take a thugged-out dirtnap wit thee!

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Help, help! Call help.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Enter CAPULET

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">CAPULET

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">For shame, brang Juliet forth; her lord is come.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Nurse

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Dat hoe dead, deceased, her dope ass dead; alack tha day!

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">LADY CAPULET

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Alack tha day, her dope ass dead, her dope ass dead, her dope ass dead!

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">CAPULET

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Ha! let me peep her: out, alas muthafucka! dat thugged-out biiiatch cold:

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Her blood is settled, n' her joints is stiff;

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Life n' these lips have long been separated:

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Death lies on her like a untimely frost

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Upon tha dopeest flower of all tha field.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Nurse

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">O lamentable day!

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">LADY CAPULET

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">O woful time!

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">CAPULET

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Death, dat hath ta'en her hence ta make me wail,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Ties up mah tongue, n' aint gonna let me speak.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Enter FRIAR LAURENCE n' PARIS, wit Musicians

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">FRIAR LAURENCE

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Come, is tha bride locked n loaded ta git all up in church?

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">CAPULET

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Ready ta go yo, but never ta return.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">O son! tha night before thy wedding-day

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Hath Dirtnap lain wit thy hoe. There she lies,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Flower as dat biiiiatch was, deflowered by his muthafuckin ass.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Death is mah son-in-law, Dirtnap is mah heir;

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">My fuckin daughter dat schmoooove muthafucka hath wedded: I'ma die,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">And leave his ass all; game, living, all is Dirtnap's.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">PARIS

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Have I thought long ta peep dis morningz face,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">And doth it give me such a sight as this?

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">LADY CAPULET

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Accursed, bugged out, wretched, hateful day!

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Most miserable minute dat e'er time saw

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">In lastin labour of his thugged-out lil' pilgrimage!

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">But one, skanky one, one skanky n' gangbangin child,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">But one thang ta rejoice n' solace in,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">And wack dirtnap hath catch'd it from mah sight!

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Nurse

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">O woe biaaatch! O woful, woful, woful day!

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Most lamentable day, most woful day,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">That ever, ever, I did yet behold!

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">O dizzle dawwwwg! O dizzle dawwwwg! O dizzle dawwwwg! O hateful day!

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Never was peeped so black a thugged-out dizzle as this:

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">O woful day, O woful day!

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">PARIS

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Beguiled, divorced, wronged, spited, slain!

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Most detestable dirtnap, by thee beguil'd,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">By wack wack thee like overthrown!

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">O ludd biaaatch! O game biaaatch! not game yo, but ludd up in dirtnap!

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">CAPULET

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Despised, distressed, hated, martyr'd, kill'd!

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Uncomfortable time, why camest thou now

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">To murder, cappin' our solemnity?

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">O lil pimp hommie! O lil pimp hommie! mah soul, n' not mah child!

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Dead art thou! Alack! mah lil pimp is dead;

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">And wit mah lil pimp mah joys is buried.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">FRIAR LAURENCE

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Peace, ho, fo' shame biaaatch! mad dramaz cure lives not

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">In these mad dramas yo. Heaven n' yo ass

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Had part up in dis fair maid; now heaven hath all,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">And all tha mo' betta is it fo' tha maid:

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Yo crazy-ass part up in her you could not keep from dirtnap,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">But heaven keeps his thugged-out lil' part up in eternal game.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Da most you sought was her promotion;

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">For 'twas yo' heaven her big-ass booty should be advanced:

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">And weep ye now, seein she be advanced

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Above tha clouds, as high as heaven itself?

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">O, up in dis love, you ludd yo' lil pimp so ill,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">That you run mad, seein dat her ass is well:

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Dat hoe not well hooked up dat lives hooked up long;

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">But da hoe dopest hooked up dat takes a thugged-out dirt nap hooked up young.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Dry up yo' tears, n' stick yo' rosemary

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">On dis fair corse; and, as tha custom is,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">In all her dopest array bear her ta church:

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">For though fond nature bidz our asses a lament,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Yet naturez tears is reasonz merriment.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">CAPULET

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">All thangs dat we ordained gangbang,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Turn from they crib ta black funeral;

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Our instruments ta melancholy bells,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Our weddin cheer ta a fucked up burial feast,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Our solemn hymns ta sullen dirges chizzle,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Our bridal flowers serve fo' a funky-ass buried corse,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">And all thangs chizzle dem ta tha contrary.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">FRIAR LAURENCE

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Sir, go you in; and, madam, go wit him;

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">And go, Sir Paris; every last muthafuckin one prepare

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">To follow dis fair corse unto her grave:

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Da heavens do lour upon you fo' some ill;

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Move dem no mo' by crossin they high will.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Exeunt CAPULET, LADY CAPULET, PARIS, n' FRIAR LAURENCE

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">First Musician

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Faith, we may put up our pipes, n' be gone.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Nurse

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Honest goodfellows, ah, put up, put up;

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">For, well you know, dis be a pitiful case.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Exit

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">First Musician

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Ay, by mah troth, tha case may be amended.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Enter PETER

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">PETER

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Musicians, O, musical muthafuckas, 'Heartz ease, Heart's

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">ease:' O, a you gonna git me live, play 'Heartz ease.'

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">First Musician

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Why 'Heartz ease?'

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">PETER

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">O, musical muthafuckas, cuz mah ass itself skits 'My

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">heart is full of woe:' O, play me some merry dump,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">to comfort mah dirty ass.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">First Musician

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Not a thugged-out dump we; 'tis no time ta play now, nahmeean?

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">PETER

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Yo ass will not, then?

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">First Musician

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">No.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">PETER

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">I'ma then give it you soundly.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">First Musician

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">What will you give us?

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">PETER

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">No scrilla, on mah faith yo, but tha gleek;

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">I'ma hit you wit tha minstrel.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">First Musician

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Then I'ma hit you wit tha serving-creature.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">PETER

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Then will I lay tha serving-creaturez dagger on

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">your pate. I'ma carry no crotchets: I be bout ta re you,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">I be bout ta fa you; do you note me son?

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">First Musician

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">An you re our asses n' fa us, you note us.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Second Musician

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Pray you, put up yo' dagger, n' put up yo' wit.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">PETER

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Then have at you wit mah wit son! I'ma dry-beat you

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">with a iron wit, n' put up mah iron dagger n' shiznit fo' realz. Answer

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">me like men:

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">'When gripin grief tha ass doth wound,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">And doleful dumps tha mind oppress,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Then noize wit her silver sound'--

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">why 'silver sound', biatch? why 'noize wit her silver

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">sound', biatch? What say you, Semen Catling?

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Musician

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Marry, sir, cuz silver hath a thugged-out dope sound.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">PETER

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Pretty dawwwwg! What say you, Hugh Rebeck?

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Second Musician

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">I say 'silver sound,' cuz musical muthafuckas sound fo' silver.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">PETER

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Pretty too! What say you, Jizzy Soundpost?

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Third Musician

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Faith, I know not what tha fuck ta say.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">PETER

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">O, I cry you mercy; yo ass is tha thug: I'ma say

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">for yo thugged-out ass. Well shiiiit, it is 'noize wit her silver sound,'

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">because musical muthafuckas have no gold fo' sounding:

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">'Then noize wit her silver sound

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">With speedy help doth lend redress.'

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Exit

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">First Musician

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">What a pestilent knave is dis same!

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Second Musician

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Hang him, Jack! Come, we'll up in here; tarry fo' the

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">mourners, n' stay dinner.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Exeunt

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">ACT V

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">SCENE I. Mantua fo' realz. A street.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Enter ROMEO

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">ROMEO

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">If I may trust tha flatterin truth of chill,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">My fuckin trips presage some joyful shizzle at hand:

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">My fuckin bosomz lord sits lightly up in his cold-ass throne;

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">And all dis dizzle a unaccustom'd spirit

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Lifts me above tha ground wit cheerful thoughts.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">I dreamt mah lady came n' found mah crazy ass dead--

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Strange dream, dat gives a thugged-out dead playa leave

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">to think!--

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">And breathed such game wit kisses up in mah lips,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">That I revived, n' was a emperor.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Ah me biaaatch! how tha fuck dope is ludd itself possess'd,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">When but lovez shadows is so rich up in joy!

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Enter BALTHASAR, booted

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Shit from Verona!--How tha fuck now, Balthasar!

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Dost thou not brang me lettas from tha friar?

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">How tha fuck doth mah lady, biatch? Is mah daddy well?

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">How tha fuck fares mah Juliet, biatch? dat I ask again;

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">For not a god damn thang can be ill, if da hoe be well.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">BALTHASAR

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Then her ass is well, n' not a god damn thang can be ill:

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Her body chills up in Capelz monument,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">And her immortal part wit angels lives.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">I saw her laid low up in her kindredz vault,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">And presently took post ta tell it you:

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">O, pardon me fo' brangin these ill hype,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Since you did leave it fo' mah office, sir.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">ROMEO

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Is it even so, biatch? then I defy you, stars!

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Thou know'st mah lodging: git me ink n' paper,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">And hire post-horses; I'ma hence to-night.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">BALTHASAR

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">I do beseech you, sir, have patience:

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Yo crazy-ass looks is pale n' wild, n' do import

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Some misadventure.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">ROMEO

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Tush, thou art deceived:

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Leave me, n' do tha thang I bid thee do.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Hast thou no lettas ta me from tha friar?

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">BALTHASAR

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Fuck dat shit, mah phat lord.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">ROMEO

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">No matter: git thee gone,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">And hire dem horses; I be bout ta be wit thee straight.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Exit BALTHASAR

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Well, Juliet, I'ma lie wit thee to-night.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Letz peep fo' means: O mischizzle, thou art swift

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">To enter up in tha thoughtz of desperate men!

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">I do remember a apothecary,--

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">And hereabouts da ruffneck dwells,--which late I noted

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">In tatter'd weeds, wit overwhelmin brows,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Cullin of simples; meagre was his fuckin looks,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Sharp misery had worn his ass ta tha bones:

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">And up in his needy shop a tortoise hung,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">An alligator stuff'd, n' other skins

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Of ill-shaped fishes; n' bout his shelves

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">A beggarly account of empty boxes,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Chronic earthen pots, bladdaz n' musty seeds,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Remnantz of packthread n' oldschool cakez of roses,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Were thinly scatter'd, ta make up a show.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Notin dis penury, ta mah dirty ass I holla'd

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">'An if a playa did need a poison now,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Whose sale is present dirtnap up in Mantua,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Here lives a cold-ass lil caitiff wretch would push it his muthafuckin ass.'

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">O, dis same thought did but forerun mah need;

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">And dis same needy playa must push it mah dirty ass.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">As I remember, dis should be tha house.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Bein holiday, tha beggarz shop is shut.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">What, ho! apothecary!

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Enter Apothecary

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Apothecary

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Dum diddy-dum, here I come biaaatch! Who tha fuck calls so loud?

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">ROMEO

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Come hither, man. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. I peep dat thou art skanky:

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Hold, there is forty ducats: let me have

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">A dram of poison, such soon-speedin gear

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">As will disperse itself all up in all tha veins

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">That tha game-weary taker may fall dead

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">And dat tha trunk may be discharged of breath

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">As violently as hasty powder fired

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Doth hurry from tha fatal cannonz womb.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Apothecary

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Such mortal sticky-icky-ickys I have; but Mantuaz law

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Is dirtnap ta any tha pimpin' muthafucka dat uttas em.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">ROMEO

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Art thou so bare n' full of wretchedness,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">And fear'st ta die, biatch? famine is up in thy cheeks,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Need n' oppression starveth up in thine eyes,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Contempt n' beggary hangs upon thy back;

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Da ghetto aint thy playa nor tha ghettoz law;

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Da ghetto affordz no law ta make thee rich;

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Then be not skanky yo, but break it, n' take all dis bullshit.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Apothecary

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">My fuckin poverty yo, but not mah will, consents.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">ROMEO

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">I pay thy poverty, n' not thy will.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Apothecary

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Put dis up in any liquid thang you will,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">And drank it off; and, if you had tha strength

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Of twenty men, it would dispatch you straight.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">ROMEO

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">There is thy gold, worse poison ta menz souls,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Bustin mo' murdaz up in dis loathsome ghetto,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Than these skanky compoundz dat thou mayst not sell.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">I push thee poison; thou hast sold mah crazy ass none.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Farewell: loot chicken, n' git thyself up in flesh.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Come, cordial n' not poison, go wit me

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">To Julietz grave; fo' there must I use thee.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Exeunt

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">SCENE Pt II. Friar Laurencez cell.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Enter FRIAR JOHN

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">FRIAR JOHN

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Holy Frankiecan friar playa! brother, ho!

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Enter FRIAR LAURENCE

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">FRIAR LAURENCE

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">This same should be tha voice of Friar John.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Welcome from Mantua: what tha fuck say Romeo?

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Or, if his crazy-ass mind be writ, give me his fuckin letter.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">FRIAR JOHN

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Goin ta find a funky-ass bare-foot brutha out

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">One of our order, ta associate me,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Here up in dis hood visitin tha sick,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">And findin him, tha searcherz of tha town,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Suspectin dat we both was up in a house

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Where tha infectious pestilence did reign,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Seal'd up tha doors, n' would not let our asses forth;

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">So dat mah speed ta Mantua there was stay'd.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">FRIAR LAURENCE

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Dum diddy-dum, here I come biaaatch! Who tha fuck bare mah letter, then, ta Romeo?

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">FRIAR JOHN

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">I could not bust it,--here it be again,--

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Nor git a messenger ta brang it thee,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">So fearful was they of infection.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">FRIAR LAURENCE

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Unaiiight fortune biaaatch! by mah brotherhood,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Da letter was not sick but full of charge

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Of dear import, n' tha neglectin it

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">May do much dark shiznit n' shit. Friar John, go hence;

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Git me a iron crow, n' brang it straight

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Unto mah cell.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">FRIAR JOHN

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Brother, I be bout ta go n' brang it thee.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Exit

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">FRIAR LAURENCE

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Now must I ta tha monument alone;

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Within three minutes will fair Juliet wake:

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Bitch will beshrew me much dat Romeo

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Hath had no notice of these accidents;

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">But I'ma write again n' again n' again ta Mantua,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">And keep her at mah cell till Romeo come;

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Skanky livin corse, closed up in a thugged-out dead manz tomb!

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Exit

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">SCENE Pt III fo' realz. A churchyard; up in it a tomb belongin ta tha Capulets.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Enter PARIS, n' his Page bearin flowers n' a torch

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">PARIS

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Give me thy torch, boy: hence, n' stand aloof:

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Yet put it out, fo' I would not be seen.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Under yond yew-trees lay thee all along,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Holdin thine ear close ta tha hollow ground;

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">So shall no foot upon tha churchyard tread,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Bein loose, unfirm, wit diggin up of graves,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">But thou shalt hear it: whistle then ta me,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">As signal dat thou hear'st suttin' approach.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Give me dem flowers. Do as I bid thee, go.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">PAGE

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">[Aside] I be almost afraid ta stand alone

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Here up in tha churchyard; yet I'ma adventure.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Retires

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">PARIS

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Sweet flower, wit flowers thy bridal bed I strew,--

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">O woe biaaatch! thy canopy is dust n' stones;--

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Which wit dope gin n juice nightly I'ma dew,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Or, wantin that, wit tears distill'd by moans:

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Da obsequies dat I fo' thee will keep

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Nightly shall be ta strew thy grave n' weep.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Da Page whistles

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Da pimp gives warnin suttin' doth approach.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">What cursed foot wandaz dis way to-night,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">To cross mah obsequies n' legit lovez rite?

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">What wit a torch! muffle me, night, awhile.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Retires

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Enter ROMEO n' BALTHASAR, wit a torch, mattock, & c

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">ROMEO

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Give me dat mattock n' tha wrenchin iron.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Hold, take dis letter; early up in tha morning

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">See thou serve up it ta mah lord n' father.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Give me tha light: upon thy game, I charge thee,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Whate'er thou hear'st or seest, stand all aloof,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">And do not interrupt me up in mah course.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Why I descend tha fuck into dis bed of dirtnap,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Is kinda ta behold mah ladyz face;

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">But chizzlely ta take thence from her dead finger

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">A precious ring, a rang dat I must use

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">In dear employment: therefore hence, be gone:

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">But if thou, jealous, dost return ta pry

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">In what tha fuck I further shall intend ta do,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">By heaven, I'ma tear thee joint by joint

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">And strew dis horny churchyard wit thy limbs:

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Da time n' mah intents is savage-wild,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Mo' fierce n' mo' inexorable far

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Than empty tigers or tha roarin sea.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">BALTHASAR

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">I'ma be gone, sir, n' not shiznit yo thugged-out ass.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">ROMEO

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">So shalt thou show me thang. Take thou that:

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Live, n' be prosperous: n' farewell, phat fellow.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">BALTHASAR

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">[Aside] For all dis same, I be bout ta hide me hereabout:

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">His looks I fear, n' his crazy-ass muthafuckin intents I doubt.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Retires

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">ROMEO

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Thou detestable maw, thou womb of dirtnap,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Gorged wit tha dearest morsel of tha earth,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Thus I enforce thy rotten jaws ta open,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">And, up in despite, I be bout ta cram thee wit mo' chicken!

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Opens tha tomb

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">PARIS

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">This is dat banish'd haughty Montague,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">That murder'd mah lovez cousin, wit which grief,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">It be supposed, tha fair creature died;

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">And here is come ta do some villanous shame

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">To tha dead bodies: I'ma apprehend his muthafuckin ass.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Comes forward

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Quit thy unhallow'd toil, vile Montague!

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Can vengeizzle be pursued further than dirtnap?

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Condemned villain, I do apprehend thee:

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Obey, n' go wit me; fo' thou must take a thugged-out dirt nap.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">ROMEO

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">I must indeed; n' therefore came I hither.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Dope gentle youth, tempt not a thugged-out desperate man;

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Fly hence, n' leave me: be thinkin upon these gone;

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Let dem affright thee. I beseech thee, youth,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Put not another sin upon mah head,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">By urgin me ta fury: O, be gone!

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">By heaven, I gots a straight-up boner fo' thee mo' betta than mah dirty ass;

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">For I come hither arm'd against mah dirty ass:

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Stay not, be gone; live, n' hereafter say,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">A madmanz mercy bade thee run away.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">PARIS

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">I do defy thy conjurations,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">And apprehend thee fo' a gangbangin' felon here.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">ROMEO

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Wilt thou provoke me son, biatch? then have at thee, boy!

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">They fight

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">PAGE

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">O Lord, they fight son! I'ma go call tha watch.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Exit

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">PARIS

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">O, I be slain!

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Falls

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">If thou be merciful,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Open tha tomb, lay me wit Juliet.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Dies

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">ROMEO

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">In faith, I will. Let me peruse dis face.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Mercutioz kinsman, noble County Paris!

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">What holla'd mah dude, when mah betossed soul

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Did not git all up in his ass as we rode, biatch? I think

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Dude holla'd at mah crazy ass Paris should have hooked up Juliet:

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Said he not so, biatch? or did I trip it so?

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Or is I mad, hearin his ass rap of Juliet,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">To be thinkin dat shiznit was so, biatch? O, give me thy hand,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">One writ wit me up in sour misfortunez book!

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">I be bout ta bury thee up in a triumphant grave;

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">A grave, biatch? O no! a lantern, slaughter'd youth,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">For here lies Juliet, n' her beauty makes

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">This vault a gangbangin' feastin presence full of light.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Death, lie thou there, by a thugged-out dead playa interr'd.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Layin PARIS up in tha tomb

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">How tha fuck oft when pimps is all up in tha deal wit dirtnap

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Have they been merry dawwwwg! which they keepers call

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">A lightnin before dirtnap: O, how tha fuck may I

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Call dis a lightning, biatch? O mah ludd biaaatch! mah hoe!

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Death, dat hath suck'd tha honey of thy breath,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Hath had no juice yet upon thy beauty:

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Thou art not conquer'd; beautyz ensign yet

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Is crimson up in thy lips n' up in thy cheeks,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">And dirtnapz pale flag aint advanced there.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Tybalt, liest thou there up in thy bloody sheet?

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">O, what tha fuck mo' favour can I do ta thee,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Than wit dat hand dat cut thy youth up in twain

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">To sunder his cold-ass dat was thine enemy?

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Forgive me, cousin! Ah, dear Juliet,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Why art thou yet so fair, biatch? shall I believe

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">That unsubstantial dirtnap be amorous,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">And dat tha lean abhorred monsta keeps

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Thee here up in dark ta be his thugged-out lil' paramour?

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">For fear of that, I still will stay wit thee;

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">And never from dis palace of dim night

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Depart again: here, here will I remain

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">With worms dat is thy chamber-maids; O, here

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Will I set up mah everlastin rest,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">And shake tha yoke of inauspicious stars

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">From dis ghetto-wearied flesh. Eyes, look yo' last!

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Arms, take yo' last embrace biaaatch! and, lips, O you

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Da doorz of breath, seal wit a righteous kiss

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">A dateless bargain ta engrossin dirtnap!

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Come, bitter conduct, come, unsavoury guide!

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Thou desperate pilot, now at once run on

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Da dashin rocks thy sea-sick weary bark!

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Herez ta mah love!

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Drinks

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">O legit apothecary!

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Thy sticky-icky-ickys is quick. Thus wit a lick I take a thugged-out dirt nap.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Dies

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Enter, all up in tha other end of tha churchyard, FRIAR LAURENCE, wit a lantern, crow, n' spade

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">FRIAR LAURENCE

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Saint Frankie be mah speed hommie! how tha fuck oft to-night

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Have mah oldschool feet stumbled at graves muthafucka! Whoz there?

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">BALTHASAR

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Herez one, a gangbangin' playa, n' one dat knows you well.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">FRIAR LAURENCE

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Bliss be upon you, nahmean biiiatch, biatch? Tell me, phat mah playa,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">What torch is yond, dat vainly lendz his fuckin light

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">To grubs n' eyeless skulls, biatch? as I discern,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">It burneth up in tha Capelz monument.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">BALTHASAR

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">It doth so, holy sir; n' there be a mah master,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">One dat you love.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">FRIAR LAURENCE

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Dum diddy-dum, here I come biaaatch! Who tha fuck is it?

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">BALTHASAR

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Romeo.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">FRIAR LAURENCE

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">How tha fuck long hath his thugged-out lil' punk-ass been there?

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">BALTHASAR

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Full half a hour.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">FRIAR LAURENCE

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Go wit me ta tha vault.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">BALTHASAR

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">I dare not, sir

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">My fuckin masta knows not but I be gone hence;

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">And fearfully did menace me wit dirtnap,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">If I did stay ta look on his crazy-ass muthafuckin intents.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">FRIAR LAURENCE

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Stay, then; I be bout ta go ridin' solo. Fear comes upon me:

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">O, much I fear some ill unlucky thang.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">BALTHASAR

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">As I did chill under dis yew-tree here,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">I dreamt mah masta n' another fought,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">And dat mah masta slew his muthafuckin ass.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">FRIAR LAURENCE

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Romeo!

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Advances

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Alack, alack, what tha fuck blood is this, which stains

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Da stony entrizzle of dis sepulchre?

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">What mean these masterless n' gory swords

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">To lie discolour'd by dis place of peace?

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Entas tha tomb

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Romeo! O, pale biaaatch! Dum diddy-dum, here I come biaaatch! Who tha fuck else, biatch? what, Paris too?

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">And steep'd up in blood, biatch? Ah, what tha fuck a unkind hour

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Is guilty of dis lamentable chance!

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Da lady stirs.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">JULIET wakes

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">JULIET

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">O laid back friar playa! where is mah lord?

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">I do remember well where I should be,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">And there I am. Where is mah Romeo?

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Noise within

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">FRIAR LAURENCE

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">I hear some noise. Lady, come from dat nest

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Of dirtnap, contagion, n' unnatural chill:

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">A pimped outer juice than we can contradict

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Hath thwarted our intents, n' you can put dat on yo' toast. Come, come away.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Thy homeboy up in thy bosom there lies dead;

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">And Paris like a muthafucka. Come, I be bout ta dispose of thee

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Among a sisterhood of holy nuns:

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Stay not ta question, fo' tha peep is coming;

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Come, go, phat Juliet,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Noise again

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">I dare no longer stay.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">JULIET

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Go, git thee hence, fo' I'ma not away.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Exit FRIAR LAURENCE

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Whatz here, biatch? a cold-ass lil cup, closed up in mah legit lovez hand?

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Poison, I see, hath been his cold-ass timeless end:

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">O churl! faded all, n' left no thugged-out drop

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">To help me after, biatch? I'ma lick thy lips;

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Haply some poison yet doth hang on them,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">To make take a thugged-out dirtnap wit a restorative.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Kisses him

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Thy lips is warm.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">First Watchman

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">[Within] Lead, boy: which way?

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">JULIET

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Yea, noise, biatch? then I be bout ta be brief. O aiiight dagger!

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Snatchin ROMEOz dagger

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">This is thy sheath;

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Stabs her muthafuckin ass

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">there rust, n' let me take a thugged-out dirt nap.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Falls on ROMEOz body, n' dies

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Enter Watch, wit tha Page of PARIS

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">PAGE

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">This is tha place; there, where tha torch doth burn.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">First Watchman

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Da ground is bloody; search bout tha churchyard:

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Go, a shitload of you, whoe'er you find attach.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Pitiful sight son! here lies tha county slain,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">And Juliet bleeding, warm, n' newly dead,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Dum diddy-dum, here I come biaaatch! Who tha fuck here hath lain these two minutes buried.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Go, tell tha prince: run ta tha Capulets:

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Raise up tha Montagues: some others search:

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">We peep tha ground whereon these woes do lie;

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">But tha legit ground of all these piteous woes

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">We cannot without circumstizzle descry.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Re-enter a shitload of tha Watch, wit BALTHASAR

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Second Watchman

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Herez Romeoz man; we found his ass up in tha churchyard.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">First Watchman

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Hold his ass up in safety, till tha pimp come hither.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Re-enter otherz of tha Watch, wit FRIAR LAURENCE

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Third Watchman

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Here be a gangbangin' friar, dat trembles, sighs n' weeps:

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">We took dis mattock n' dis spade from him,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">As da thug was comin from dis churchyard side.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">First Watchman

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">A pimped out suspicion: stay tha friar like a muthafucka.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Enter tha PRINCE n' Attendants

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">PRINCE

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">What misadventure is so early up,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">That calls our thug from our morningz rest?

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Enter CAPULET, LADY CAPULET, n' others

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">CAPULET

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">What should it be, dat they so shriek abroad?

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">LADY CAPULET

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Da playas up in tha street cry Romeo,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Some Juliet, n' some Paris; n' all run,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">With open outcry toward our monument.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">PRINCE

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">What fear is dis which startlez up in our ears?

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">First Watchman

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Sovereign, here lies tha County Paris slain;

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">And Romeo dead; n' Juliet, dead before,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Warm n' freshly smoked up kill'd.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">PRINCE

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Search, seek, n' know how tha fuck dis foul cappin' comes.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">First Watchman

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Here be a gangbangin' friar, n' slaughter'd Romeoz man;

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">With instruments upon them, fit ta open

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">These dead menz tombs.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">CAPULET

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">O heavens muthafucka! O hoe, look how tha fuck our daughter bleeds!

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">This dagger hath mista'en--for, lo, his house

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Is empty on tha back of Montague,--

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">And it mis-sheathed up in mah daughterz bosom!

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">LADY CAPULET

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">O me biaaatch! dis sight of dirtnap be as a funky-ass bell,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">That warns mah oldschool age ta a sepulchre.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Enter MONTAGUE n' others

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">PRINCE

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Come, Montague; fo' thou art early up,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">To peep thy lil hustla n' heir mo' early down.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">MONTAGUE

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Alas, mah liege, mah hoe is dead to-night;

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Grief of mah sonz exile hath stopp'd her breath:

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">What further woe conspires against mine age?

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">PRINCE

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Look, n' thou shalt see.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">MONTAGUE

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">O thou untaught son! what tha fuck manners is up in this?

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">To press before thy daddy ta a grave?

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">PRINCE

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Seal up tha grill of outrage fo' a while,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Till we can clear these ambiguities,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">And know they spring, they head, their

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">true descent;

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">And then will I be general of yo' woes,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">And lead you even ta dirtnap: meantime forbear,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">And let mischizzle be slave ta patience.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Brin forth tha partizzlez of suspicion.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">FRIAR LAURENCE

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">I be tha top billin, able ta do least,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Yet most suspected, as tha time n' place

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Doth make against me of dis direful murder;

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">And here I stand, both ta impeach n' purge

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Myself condemned n' mah dirty ass excused.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">PRINCE

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Then say at once what tha fuck thou dost know up in all dis bullshit.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">FRIAR LAURENCE

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">I'ma be brief, fo' mah short date of breath

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Is not so long as be a tedious tale.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Romeo, there dead, was homeboy ta dat Juliet;

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">And she, there dead, dat Romeoz faithful hoe:

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">I hooked up them; n' they stol'n marriage-day

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Was Tybaltz dooms-day, whose untimely dirtnap

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Banish'd tha new-made bridegroom from tha hood,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">For whom, n' not fo' Tybalt, Juliet pined.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">You, ta remove dat siege of grief from her,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Betroth'd n' would have hooked up her perforce

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">To County Paris: then comes dat dunkadelic hoe ta me,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">And, wit wild looks, bid mah crazy ass devise some mean

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">To rid her from dis second marriage,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Or up in mah cell there would she bust a cap up in her muthafuckin ass.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Then gave I her, so tutor'd by mah art,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">A chillin potion; which so took effect

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">As I intended, fo' it wrought on her

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Da form of dirtnap: meantime I writ ta Romeo,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">That da perved-out muthafucka should hither come as dis dire night,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">To help ta take her from her borrow'd grave,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Bein tha time tha potionz force should cease.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">But da thug which bore mah letter, Friar John,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Was stay'd by accident, n' yesternight

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Return'd mah letter back. Then all alone

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">At tha prefixed minute of her waking,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Came I ta take her from her kindredz vault;

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Meanin ta keep her closely at mah cell,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Till I conveniently could bust ta Romeo:

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">But when I came, some minute ere tha time

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Of her awaking, here untimely lay

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Da noble Paris n' legit Romeo dead as fuckin fried chicken.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Bitch wakes; n' I entreated her come forth,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">And bear dis work of heaven wit patience:

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">But then a noise did scare me from tha tomb;

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">And she, too desperate, would not go wit me,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">But, as it seems, did violins on her muthafuckin ass.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">All dis I know; n' ta tha marriage

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Her nurse is privy: and, if aught up in this

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Miscarried by mah fault, let mah oldschool game

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Be sacrificed, some minute before his cold-ass time,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Unto tha rigour of severest law.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">PRINCE

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">We still have known thee fo' a holy man.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Wherez Romeoz man, biatch? what tha fuck can da perved-out muthafucka say up in this?

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">BALTHASAR

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">I brought mah masta shizzle of Julietz dirtnap;

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">And then up in post his schmoooove ass came from Mantua

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">To dis same place, ta dis same monument.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">This letter he early bid mah crazy ass give his wild lil' father,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">And threatened mah crazy ass wit dirtnap, goin up in tha vault,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">I departed not n' left his ass there.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">PRINCE

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Give me tha letter; I'ma look on dat shit.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Where is tha countyz page, dat raised tha watch?

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Sirrah, what tha fuck made yo' masta up in dis place?

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">PAGE

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Dude came wit flowers ta strew his fuckin ladyz grave;

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">And bid mah crazy ass stand aloof, n' so I did:

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Anon comes one wit light ta ope tha tomb;

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">And by n' by mah masta drew on him;

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">And then I ran away ta booty-call tha watch.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">PRINCE

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">This letter doth make phat tha friarz lyrics,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Their course of love, tha tidingz of her dirtnap:

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">And here da thug writes dat da ruffneck did loot a poison

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Of a skanky 'pothecary, n' therewithal

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Came ta dis vault ta die, n' lie wit Juliet.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Where be these enemies, biatch? Capulet son! Montague!

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">See, what tha fuck a scourge is laid upon yo' hate,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">That heaven findz means ta bust a cap up in yo' joys wit love.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">And I fo' winkin at yo' discordz too

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Have lost a funky-ass brace of kinsmen: all is punish'd.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">CAPULET

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">O brutha Montague, give me thy hand:

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">This is mah daughterz jointure, fo' no more

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Can I demand.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">MONTAGUE

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">But I can give thee more:

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">For I'ma raise her statue up in pure gold;

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">That while Verona by dat name is known,

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">There shall no figure at such rate be set

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">As dat of legit n' faithful Juliet.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">CAPULET

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">As rich shall Romeoz by his fuckin ladyz lie;

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Skanky sacrificez of our enmity!

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">PRINCE

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">A gloomin peace dis mornin wit it brangs;

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Da sun, fo' sorrow, aint gonna show his head:

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Go hence, ta have mo' rap of these fucked up thangs;

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Some shall be pardon'd, n' some punished:

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">For never was a rap of mo' woe

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Than diz of Juliet n' her Romeo.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Exeunt

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